Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Novel / Chapter » Humor

E - Everyone

Least Romantic: Chapter Three: It's a Sign!

by Horisun

Ala told her Mommy about what happened at preschool that day.

"You can be friends with whoever you want, ignore those other girls."

Ala sniffed. "But Mommy, Tiana could rally the entire class with just a few words, it'd be me and Henry against everyone." Ala thought for a moment. "Why is she like that?"

Her Mommy sighed, "She's probably jealous."

Again, Ala thought back to the kid, she wasn't sure what Mommy meant, Tiana had everyone, from jewelry, to friends, dresses and headbands.

Ala would've begged Daddy to let her stay home the next day, but the thought of Henry having to stand up to Tiana and the rest by himself was too much.

"Stupid traffic." Her Daddy muttered. Ala gazed out the window, and stared thoughtfully at the chocolate store. There was a strange sign that wasn't there before.

"Daddy, what does that sign say?"

Her Daddy squinted a bit, "Last Stand, February Fourteenth." He read.

"Oh No!" Ala cried, she leaned forward as fast as she could and shouted, "Drive, Daddy, drive!"


"It's a sign!" Ala said dramatically, throwing her head back, and closing her eyes for dramatic effect. "Me and Henry will have the last battle against Tiana on February Fourteenth! I need to warn him!"

Her Daddy paused for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Alright sweetie, I'll get you there as fast as I can." He said.

But he didn't drive fast enough.

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
544 Reviews

Points: 30084
Reviews: 544

Tue Aug 27, 2019 3:22 am
View Likes
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello my fellow writer! It's me IcyFireyPheonix as you like to call me! XD So I am popping in here today to leave a review for you!

So let's get to it.

As I'm getting further into the story I can see the path it's going to take, and I'm really excited to see how everything plays out, I've never read a story that has a little toddler as the main character so this is rather interesting for me.
And I'm really starting to like Ala's character, she is really sweet, and I can see she loves her friends. Well to be honest I liked her from the start!
I do want to no more about Tiana and she little group, I have a feeling they will become a really big part of the book later, but right now hey are just bullies so I wonder what hey will do to Ala next.

Now I do wish there was a little more description in this, I mean I don't even no what her dad looks like, and the setting to. A little description here and there will help people become part of your story, unless you have made it the way you did, so the reader can imagine what the characters look like. It's really all up to you.

Other than that I really liked this chapter, it was funny and made me laugh, I must say it's funny reading a book about a child that only thinks having some one else play with her friend is the biggest worry in the world! XD
Anyway I'm glad I could pop in and review this, it was fun, and I am even more hook now that I was before, so amazing job, Keep up the amazing writing and I will be off to the next chapter. Have a great day or night.

Your friend and faithful reader
Reviewing with a fiery passion!

User avatar
89 Reviews

Points: 336
Reviews: 89

Sun Aug 11, 2019 9:46 pm
shieldmaiden wrote a review...

Nice job with the ending. I was just thinking to myself (with a small chuckle) that the little girl was overreacting and being superstitious, when you threw the last line 'but he didn't drive fast enough'. Shoot! Now, I'm scared and worried about Henry and Ala. What happened to make things go wrong? Tiana probably stole Henry away from Ala. I know that boys and men are pretty smart, but do you ever feel that your guy friends aren't smart when it comes to the conniving ways of other girls? Sometimes I feel that they are powerless and need protecting. What do you think?

User avatar
307 Reviews

Points: 18616
Reviews: 307

Sun Jul 28, 2019 1:48 pm
View Likes
Liberty wrote a review...

Hello Horisun!

I am back to give you a review. Hope you're doing well today or tonight! Let's get started now, shall we?

Alright, so I like the turn this story is taking. It's very original. I can remember this happening to me when I was - not in preschool - in grade one. Now when I think back to it, I laugh. xD

Also, what is it about February 14th? I'm kinda ooh-ing at that. Trying to figure out what it means.

"Oh No!" Ala cried, she leaned forward as fast as she could and shouted, "Drive, Daddy, drive!"

The "no" doesn't need to be capitalized. Also, that^ is honestly, the cutest thing ever! Drive, daddy, drive! <3 I love Ala so bad right now. Ahhhh!

Anyways, I'm done with this review. I hope this helped, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. Of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me wherever and whenever.

And as always...

Keep on writing!


Happy Review Day!

User avatar
61 Reviews

Points: 5916
Reviews: 61

Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:59 am
Awru wrote a review...

Damn why do these jealoused,stupid bullies need to destroy perfectly happy stuff??And why does Ala keeps getting cuter and cuter.I enjoyed reading this chapter just as much as the others.I am pretty sure she will have the last battle on February Fourteenth.I believe in herand maybe u too JK
And then you said He didn't drive fast enough,WHYYY!I am guessing and i will keep guessing until you post the next chap so save from this tiresome guessing game and post it soon.

Keep Up The Excellent Work :smt023

Peace Out

Horisun says...

I'm so happy you like it! I'm working on it right now, but it probably won't be finished 'till tomorrow or tonight.
Btw, would you like to be tagged when I post it? It's fine if you don't.

Awru says...

Ofcourse i would like to be tagged

I tell the neophyte: Write a million words–the absolute best you can write, then throw it all away and bravely turn your back on what you have written. At that point, you’re ready to begin.
— David Eddings