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E - Everyone

Least Romantic: Chapter Eleven: La La Laaaaaaaaaa!

by Horisun

"12:30. Lunch. Daycare."

"Wha?" Jenny asked, her mouth full with grilled cheese. 

Ala looked up, and blushed, "Oops, I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." Jenny said, gulping down her grilled cheese. "Ala, if you do what I know you're going to do, I'm not going to be your friend."

Ala snapped to attention, she looked at Jenny before saying, "You're bluffing... Right?" The last word came out like a squeak. 

Jenny glared at Ala, "No, I'm serious, you can't go through with this!" She said. "You'll get in huge trouble! Besides, this is obviously a huge misunderstanding!"

Ala could barely hold in her tears. "But- Jenny..."

Jenny sighed, "Let me know when you change your mind, then." She said, before picking up her tray, and moving to a different table.

Ala felt herself curl up into a ball and rock back and forth.

You know what? I can still do it. I'll talk to her later, and maybe than we can be friends again.

Ala took a breath, and stood up on her chair. She cleared her throat, and straightened her back. "Attention everyone!" She shouted. 

For a moment, it felt great when everyone, even Tiana, turn and look at her with their eyes wide. But then she could feel the pressure of everyone staring. She saw Jenny's face pale, as she mouthed the word no, she saw Henry's face twisted in fear, and confusion, and she saw the teacher stand up, waiting for what was about to happen.

Alright, just do it, before you chicken out.

Before she had another moment to think, before the teachers made her sit down, before Jenny's doubt made her fall flat, she opened her mouth.

And then she sung.

"Hey, hey, everybody,

"I have something to say.

"Tiana's a Poop,

"So, yeah.

"Dig a little deeper, and you will see,

"That just maybe, 

"We could work together 

"To stop Tiana the bully-"

"ALA! GET DOWN FROM THERE!" The Chef shouted as Ala began to walk along the table.

Ala froze. There was a long silence that pounded against her ears. Then, there was a chuckle, and then a giggle, and then, everyone, every single student, howled with laughter.

Rocky, who was sitting right in front of her, pointed at her, and said, "You'll be paying for my hospital bill, I think your song made me deaf."

Ala couldn't hold it in anymore. She jumped off the table, and ran out of the cafeteria, the teachers hot on her heels. She ran as hard as she could, but she soon felt the teacher grab her arm, and pull her to the office. Ala screamed, and cried, her face a red tomato. Her fists clenched and unclenched, but eventually, she became limp, and became content with the silent tears rolling down her cheeks, and the emptiness in her stomach. 

Through Ala's tears, she heard the head teacher.

"Yes, Mrs. Fawn." There was a pause. "Okay, I'll see you in a bit."

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Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:03 pm
shieldmaiden says...

Oh boy ... ooops! Poor little girl!!!

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Sun Sep 15, 2019 4:19 pm
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Awru says...


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Sun Sep 15, 2019 11:10 am
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FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...

Hello again, it's me FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely day, and to help get your work out the green room.

So out of this whole chapter I only saw two small things that needs to be pointed out and fixed.
Let's get right into it shall we?

Okay so here is the first one I saw.

"Wha?" Jenny asked, her mouth full with grilled cheese.

As you might have none from my other reviews on your works the word n bold is what I would like to talk about. So I'm not sure if you meant to leave out the T in Wha, but if not then I'm sure it was just a typo.

Okay onto the next one.
She said. "You'll get in huge trouble! Besides, this is obviously a huge misunderstanding!"

Okay so you have two huge's in this sentence and I'm wondering if maybe you could change one of them into another word, like the second huge you can leave is it is, because it fit's the sentence rather well, but maybe change the first huge into a lot instead, or it could be so much. The choice in yours, just try and stay away form using the same word to much.

But other than those two things I really like this chapter, I can really see us getting into the plot of the story and i'm getting rather antsy to see what will happen next. I can't wait to see the head teacher in the next chapter, how much trouble will Ala get into, will she be Expelled? I have no idea anything can happen at this point.
And after that stunt will Henry not want to talk to her again along with Jenny? All of these thought are making my worry...a lot. XD

So I can't wait to see the next chapter, and leave a review on it again. I hope you will write the next chapter soon and don't keep me hanging. Post again on YWS soon, and have a great day or night.

Your friend and faithful reader
Reviewing with a fiery passion!


Horisun says...

Thank you for the review!

No problem! ;)

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Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:08 pm
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Liberty wrote a review...

Hey Horisun!

Hope you're doing well today or tonight, depending on what side of the world you're at, obviously. I'm here to give you a review for RevMo and for this chapter so I can help it so it can get out of the Green room. Okie, let's get started now!

Now now, missy. I am very proud of you! I never saw a single thing that I needed to critique. No spelling mistake, punctuation, grammar, dialogue, anything mistake! It wa absolutely amazing! :smt023

But gosh, Rocky is hella rude, man. Like... what was the hospital bill and being deaf thing all about, Rocky...? And darn, the teachers are kinda rough. *nervous chuckle*

And honestly, the song, though, LOL, Ala, what have you done? XD This is hilarious! I'm so excied to see what happens in the next chapter when "Mrs. Fawn", who I'm sure is Ala's mum, reacts to this.

Also, to be honest, this cafeteria-usage of trays-thing sounds more middle school than it sounds pre-school. Because, honestly, pre-school kids usually eat in their classrooms, not in the cafeteria. I know you were trying to set the scene, but to make it seem more realistic -- putting their lunch hours in the cafeteria isn't the best of ideas. Hope that makes sense. (:

Hope my entire review made sense! I hope to see the next chapter soon, and of course, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me whenever!

And as always...

Keep on writing!


Horisun says...

Thanks for the review! They have tray's and stuff because that's just how my Daycare did it. Is that weird? Idk. I guess I'm stretching it a little bit.

Liberty says...

Nah, if that's what happened in your past, that's completely cool! And your welcome. uwu

Lice on rats on a horse corpse on fire.
— John Oliver