"Well, ya know what?" Ala cried over the chatter, making eye contact with Tiana. "You're a BUTT! That's right, I said it, and watcha gonna do, Butt? I can be friends with whoever I want, Butt. You're just jealous, BUTT!"
"Ala!" Her teacher shouted, "Wash your tongue!" Mrs. Vicky looked around at everyone, "For caused a such a riot, there will be NO recess today!"
There were several outbursts, but most people just sighed sadly, and went back to eating. Ala wanted to cry. "But-" she began.
"NO MORE BUTTS!"
"But-"
"Go to the time out corner, young lady!"
Ala drooped, she hurried over to the corner, trying hard to blink back tears as people behind her snickered.
She stood there, trying to bottle the anger that swirled within her, when someone walked up, and stood next to her.
She looked over, and saw Henry facing the wall with her, he gave her a shy smile, and nudged her playfully. Ala laughed.
At least not everyone in the world is a butt!
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139,372 Literary Works • 672,541 Reviews
Hello my fellow writer, and reviewer. It's me again IcyFieryPhoenix with another review for you, so let's get to it.
Gosh Ala you do no how to get mad and show everyone that you are. I must say when she called Tiana a Butt I started canning myself, I didn't see that happening. Though with that bit I think you should have added Tiana's reaction to her outburst. It would have added a little more to the chapter, and I'm sure knowing Tiana she will have something to say after being called a Butt.
I thought the teachers reaction was very well done, she sound like she is very strict and doesn't take any trouble in her class, and it shows up that she is someone you can go to for help, so maybe Ala can talk to her later.
AWW! Henry aren't you sweet joining your friend in the corner. Now that's true friendship, and maybe just maybe LOVE!!
Gosh there are so many things happening at the moment! I can't wait to see what will happen in the next chapter, so many things can happen at the moment, it's that part of the story where you don't no where it's going to go. So I will be off to the next chapter, I look forward to it. I hope you have a great day or night either one is fine, and keep writing.
Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion!
Ps: Post chapter 11 I'm getting closer and I have a feeling chapter ten is going to be left on a cliffhanger!
Phew! (she breathes a sigh of relief and wipes the sweat from her brow) Boy, did you having me going gurl. I'm glad that Henry still supports her and though she's in a time out because of an overuse of 'butt' I really liked how you made Ala stand up for herself against the snotty Tiana. Look forward to the next chapter. (Am I too invested in Ala and Henry?) Keep writing!
-Shieldmaiden
Thanks!
Heyo Horisun!
Hope you're doing well today or tonight! I'm here to - yeah, give you a review. Alright, let's get started!
Lol, this is adorable. Ala's little outburst is so freaking cute, I'm dying!!! >~< Someone help me. Please...! It shows us quite a lot about Ala's character. She'll stand up to herself even if she's alone. That is just the cutest thing. <3
I literally cannot say "cutest", "cute" and "adorable" enough times.Alright, so I did see a couple of things that I'd like to point out really quick.
"Wash" your tongue, or "watch" your tongue. Unless that's what preschool teachers say to tell the kids that there is "bad words" on your tongue so you should go wash it - but not really. Or maybe really. I'm not sure. Lol. Just pointing it out though.
Hmm, that dialogue doesn't quite make sense. I know that the kids won't have recess, but why exactly? That part doesn't make sense.
Thankfully. *peaceful sigh*
Alright, so that brings us to the end of my review. I hope this helped in some sort of way. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Keep on writing!
~Liberty
Oh my gawddd!!that is so short.How am i supposed to review this*pouts*I think this story is just too pure for this world.The world simply does not deserve this.Am i a weirdo psychopath for shipping pre schoolers cuz i doooo!!
U sure bout that!!
This was legitimately the cutest thing i have ever read.
Keep Up the Absolutely Melting Work
peace out
Lol! XD Thank you!