Young Writers Society

Hello!
This is a powerful and raw expression of someone's struggle with mental health and the negative feedback they've received from others. It's important to acknowledge that mental health issues are real and not something that can simply be dismissed or ignored. The author is speaking to the frustration of being misunderstood and invalidated by others who do not experience what they are going through. The voice in their head is a constant battle, and they feel trapped in their own thoughts.

The author highlights the fact that just because someone is not visibly struggling or showing signs of mental health issues, it doesn't mean they are not experiencing them. They also bring up the topic of trauma and how it can manifest in different ways. The author is seeking validation and empathy from others, but unfortunately, they have been met with dismissive responses.

Overall, this piece highlights the importance of empathy and understanding when it comes to mental health. It also serves as a reminder that mental health struggles are valid, and individuals should not be made to feel ashamed or guilty for experiencing them.

Hello

This truly spoke to me. The opening phrases hit my close to home.

"Just because I don't think bad of all men doesn't mean I wasn't assaulted and worse" reading this made me re-live that time, hating all men isn't the cure.

This is a lovely bit of work you have here, showing nobody knows what anyone is going through, "walk a mile in their shoes" came to mind, you don't know their hardships unless you've lived then.

Every little line hits an emotional "The negative voices" "Empathy is a dying spirit" all words that should make anyone feel a rush of emotion.

You have nothing to improve in this piece, the layout is nice and the wording is spectacular.

Have a good day xoxo

Heyo! I’m gonna review this piece.

Before I begin;
The title really fits this poem. I like how it’s filled with emotion and gives a little peek into what’s going through your head. To be honest, this poem is also very relatable.

Now let’s begin;
First off, I wanna address the beginning. Very good beginning, love how it starts with questions. (All of which I know too well unfortunately). What I also liked was that you don’t answer the questions. Which is good, because your shouldn’t have to explain any of that. It’s unfair how people don’t know what someone is going through and just assume they want attention, they’re too young, etc.

Second, I’ve noticed this relates to mental health (I think. Correct me if I’m wrong). Just from a different perspective. The way others can relate to this poem also helps them feel like they’re not alone. I would like to say I know what this feels like but I don’t. At least not entirely. I do suffer from severe depression and anxiety but it still doesn’t mean that I understand what you may be feeling and I know that. That’s why I tend to avoid to say things like “I know how you feel” or “I can relate to this” because it’s not always true. (Please don’t come at me for saying that)

Overall, this poem flows nicely, it allows people to relate to it on a certain level and to be honest, reminds me why I write. Good work!

☁️SkyJayde☁️

Hi FireSpyGirl,

I really like this poem. It is so full of spirit and the real dark truth of the world. I feel really bad sometimes that people do this to others. I mean we are all human. Why can't they just accept that? No one is the same, everyone is extraordinary and amazing in their own way.

I'm very glad that you wrote a poem about this and that I got the chance to read and review this amazing piece.

First of all, you have chosen a perfect title, I must say. It' really fits your poem and speaks a lot to me. It was because of the title that I chose to read this poem, you've done that really well.

"What's your problem?"
"You just want attention.
"You're too young to have problems"
"Why are you so weird?"
"Why don't you wear make-up?"

I like these questions, they are a good start for the story. They're also common things people say to each other. I don't think it's fair that they say that to other people, but you've done a good job of showing that.

"I have lost count of how many times those sentences have been said,
How many times I've been told by others that I have no reason to be the way I am.

I love that. It just says a lot about how the person saying it feels. That person feels empty and sad that people don't accept them for who they are or who they want to be.

"It doesn't work that way, why can't they understand that?"

This question is also to the point. She wonders why society cannot accept her for who she is. I feel sad for her.

"From the moment I wake up to the moment I manage to sleep, the voices in my head never stop.
Years of practice and I've learnt to mask too well".

That is nice, the voices in her head never seem to stop. She tries so hard, but it's never enough, never, never.

"People tell me I'm making it up, try living inside my head for a day. You wouldn't last an hour.
Then there are the people who tell me they understand, but they don't.

This is so typical, well done! This part actually reminded me of a story I wrote (it's called "In the Lift") where the girl asks herself the same questions. I think it fits in perfectly, very well thought out.

"I listen to her talk and all I can think is:
"Why? Why would you want to have that?"

That sentence really touches me, it's just wow and it goes deep. I can feel the emotion of her asking herself that deep in my heart.

"Depression, anxiety, sickness, fear and trauma wrapped up in anger issues and pain.
Just because I don't cry all the time, just because I can still laugh and smile, doesn't mean that depression is fake".

This part reminds me of another story I've written (it's called Broken Mirror Image), it's funny how I can see elements of my stories in yours. I guess I'm not the only one who thinks the world needs to change or accept people for who they are. Wonderfully written!

"Just because I don't think badly of all men doesn't mean I haven't been assaulted and worse.
I tried to open up, to bare my soul to humanity, and was told to shut up.
So I did."

I feel so sorry for her, why is she doing this to herself? Don't listen to people, be yourself!

"Hiding myself, protecting myself, always being the one to look after everyone else, it hurts.
Why does it have to be like this?
Why can't I get rid of the voice that tells me I'll never find real love?

That hurts and it cuts very deep, you did a great job of showing that.

"Three breakups, three very bad streaks.
I'm terrified of a fourth.
I refuse to give up.

That's the spirit, don't let people get you down. You're perfect the way you are! Even if life takes you through the worst, you'll come out of it, have faith!

"We don't need Tiktok to tell us what's wrong with us,
to tell us how to love, who to be.

Exactly. The media. Social media. Dangerous, I would say. I'm glad I don't have TikTok, Instagram or any other social media accounts/apps.

"The negative voices in our heads are enough.
For those who don't understand, you never will.

This is very much to the point. And it's true. People will never understand you and what you've been through because they've never been in your shoes.

"Empathy is a dying spirit.
Enough is enough."

Good final sentences, very fabulous and to the point. You did a great job.

Thank you for writing this poem for us! It gives people a glimpse into the minds of people who've been through hell. I'm very glad I came across your poem. Your writing style is also very beautiful. Keep up the good work, I'm sure I'll be reading more from you!

If you have time, check out my stories: "In the elevator" and "Broken mirror image".

- Rinisha