Burning

Hiii @FireSpyGirl, I hope you are doing fine and wish you a Merry Christmas.......


First of all, I like your poem..it is having a deep meaning and full of emotions.i could feel that hatred, anger, frustration. I like the overall poem and it is going well but the last line was a little different for me too... You did a good job and all the best.... Keep writing...wnjoy your day

This story i've gotten out of this, is that the speaker is involved with someone who is, painful, to be around. But I do belive it's possible, they are not even together beacause of this line, "I have a fantasy, I know it can never be real," so it seems this is someone the narrator is dreaming of being with this person, but cannot, and that is what's hurting the speaker. The pain of not being with this person, as well as the thought of never being good enough for this person. "See the damage you have done?" I know this feeling, of looking at someone from a far, probably not knowing them very well, and I simply build them up in my head. I fantise of us together, even though i'm not with this person. I see them move onto other people, and it's painful to see. But in the end, i'm the one who hurt myself, none of these people did this to me. But in this particular story, the person the speaker is thinking of has done this pain, it's possible the speaker made themselves apparent to the person, and was rejected. Which is a cruel thing to do to a new person, but no one realizes that they've done this, once they've done it. "I want to show my anger, but I don't want it to hurt." This part sticks out to me very much, as i'd like to tell the people around me what I think of them, but that normally solves nothing, and I wind up making a fool of myself. It's possible in this case, the speaker does not want to express themself, because the person they are thinking of might hurt them for doing so. My interpretation may be off, this could also be an abusive relationship, but if it is eiether of those things, i'd just like to say i'm open to talk, anytime. None of these things should be kept secret, tell them to people you trust. I think this doesn't need a rating, any writing in my book, is great if it's something real. And I can tell, this was unfortunatly real. And i'm glad you put these frustraited feelings into your writing. That's my definition of art. Taking an emotion, and getting it out, by making something creative. And what you make will reflect that emotion. Which is something I think is beautiful.

hi, it's ajit.
the poem is full of emotion which i loved, it shows the regular feelings of a human being, how she/he feels when someone breaks the heart, how anger and frustration gets heavy on ourselves also which affects our daily life and our freedom too. it explains all; out of all, the end of the poem, " because of you, my heart is torn in two", which gives an unfamiliar sound. particularly the word "two" is unfamiliar. i mean the numeric value is quite different.

my opinion may be intriguing your thought, but , i felt like this and i might wrong.
The poem was beautiful and i loved it.
keep writing good things and all the best.

Awesome!! Way to express the frustrations of life, and what i percieved to be betrayal. This poem had bits and peices that spoke to me. However, not to be negative whatsoever, but some parts didnt flow well. Now, im just going to give you a pointer in a specific example that i happened to see. The second line, "creating a hole in my heart", the word "creating" doesnt seem to represent the point that i believe you were trying to reach. The word "creating" doesnt symbolize fire, which usually is notified in this context for its power of destruction, having something turned to waste in a moment of blazing heat and ruin. The word "create" symbolizes building something, putting something somewhere where it wasnt before. I think if you are more intuitive on these points in your poems, it will make a significant difference. All in all however, i love the idea, you should build upon it. Good luck! :3

Hey! That was a grat poem! I like the deep meanings, and that it’s like really heavy.

I really like the ‘’is it love?’’ Sentence, it’s like THE question. (don’t actually know why I write that...)

I readed the other rewiev and you said that you have some kind of struggle to deal with... Is it anything you wanna talk about? (I know that I am just 12, and not very god at giving advices, But if you wanna talk about something...

I am really bad at Comments and rewievs, so this is not very great I think:l



WriterSis.

Hai!! I am B, ((Which you already know)), I will try to make this into a review!!


First off, I am going to state the good parts about this poem...

I love your poem, and the way that it is worded.


I have no idea why, but I specifically love this part...

"Burning, flaming,

Creating a hole in my heart,

Every day full of pain,

Breaking my heart.

Tiring and frustrating,

Angering and softening,

Making me scream and cry,

With sadness and rage.

Is it love?"

Because this part shows so much emotions and it is evactly how I feel half of the time, when I am around someone I like....


And secondly, I only see like one problem, and in is only minor...

There should not be a period in the following sentence, because this is not a full sentence, it is only a fragment...

"With sadness and rage."

but overall, I loved this, it was Fantastic!!!

Keep up the great work...

~B