Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.
People will never truly understand something they've never been through,
Even with the best of attempts.
Then there are the ones who won't even try.
The ones that say;
"Just get over it"
"What is wrong with you?"
"That explains so much about you"
"It's just a phase"
To the people who say that,
I wish I could make you live in my head,
My soul, my skin.
You wouldn't survive, but you would understand.
You would get a glimpse of the blackness I carry,
The longing to tear my skin off, to get rid of the memory
of their touch.
You would understand the want to black out
Just to cleanse the memories of them,
The pain they caused, the pain I can't get rid of.
You can try to placate me all you want
It doesn't fucking help.
"At least this one wasn't as bad as the others"
"He didn't physically hurt you like the others did"
There was still pain and how much does it really matter?
It was still a bad relationship. I lost even more of myself
The self loathing for ever being with any of them makes me physically ill.
My skin crawls and shudders for ever letting them touch me
I want to burn it off. Clean. I just want to be clean.
I don't think I'll ever be clean.
My lungs ache for air, I'm drowning in my own blood
Blood from the cuts that never heal, the memories that won't go away,
The deepness of the stain that's on me.
Am I more than this?
Is there anything left of me to find?
Will I always remain untouchable, to corrupted and stained, even for my friends?
Will it remain bloodstained shards trying to survive?
Always pretending to be fine while constantly crying?
Or will the rage take over and I'll make everyone else drown?
Does it really matter anymore?
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hello there. This is an insightful poem into the deepest thoughts in your mind. It felt like reading a piece of your diary, and I admire your vulnerability. I enjoyed the second half of the poem, it is filled with more imagery that explains your pained memories and thoughts. I especially enjoyed these lines:
"My lungs ache for air, I'm drowning in my own blood
Blood from the cuts that never heal, the memories that won't go away,"
I often enjoy imagery about lungs so I may be biased, but this is beautifully worded. I find it interesting how you emphasize *my own* blood. This is your own pain that is making these scars and you have to deal with it, no one else.
This is a deeply personal poem and I enjoyed the structure of it. Good job!
Hello, there! Avi speaking
First off, wow. This is an incredible poem. It's so powerful and cuts right to the core of what @buse and tr@uma survivors go through. Everything the people said to the narrator in your poem makes my skin crawl and anger bubble to the surface. This poem elicits emotion and understanding, and that is how/why it's so powerful.
There is only one thing I'd say to fix, and it's a typo. "Will I always remain untouchable, to corrupted and stained, even for my friends?" Just turn to into too, and you got yourself a perfect poem! (In my eyes at least lol)
Thank you so much for sharing such an intimate part of yourself. We are here for you <3
I look forward to reading more of your writing
Hey there!
This is a heavy thing to talk about, but it's the honest truth. People don't understand, and we can't force them to. It's hard to explain feelings, but in this poem, you targeted those who don't try. So let's stay on topic with that.
There weren't any grammar issues, so that's a clean slate. Your formatting is wonderful. I love the flip to the right side. Gorgeous.
I love how you worded this. You picked out several different key points and words that definitely place a series of thoughts in the readers mind. The poem itself implies certain toxic and traumatizing things, without explicitly stating what those things are. That's something few writers can do, and you did it wonderfully!
I don't have any suggestions to make other than keep writing!
~Taost