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Young Writers Society



The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter 37

by felistia


A cool wind swept over the trees as Zoltar soared out over the coast. The sun was slowly dipping behind the mountain peaks, sending out a final spray of fiery golds across the darkening sky.

Zoltar clutched the wild turkey he’d caught tighter as wave after wave of thoughts crashed through his mind.

What was Emerald doing? Why was she being friendly to him? Was it a morbid fascination with outsiders or was there something more there? She obviously was curious, but why? Surely she could learn plenty about the outside world from scrolls. It would be safer and wouldn’t require hanging around an outlaw.

He sighed. It couldn’t last forever. The next full moon sacrifice wasn’t far off; twelve days or so. What wouldn’t happen then? From what he’d heard from Felistia, the Wisp Talons didn’t hesitate to kill their own tribe members. Surely Emerald would give him and the others up if it came to that?

He shook his snout, tilting his wings as he angled south. He had a few days, but at some point or another, he’d have to tell Felistia what had happened. They needed to find a new hiding place and somehow manage to do it without Emerald seeing them.

It wasn’t long before the cave melted into view, the draping strands of seaweed around the entrance tinted a deep olive green in the dying light.

Zoltar steeled himself as he approached. He didn’t really want to have to talk to Felistia or Shiraku at the moment. He needed space, some time to think.

Still, he’d promised to bring something back and he couldn’t just disappear without telling them. No, he’d drop off the bird, make an excuse or something and then find a quiet place to spend a few hours.

The seaweed strands were cold, sliding along his scales as he entered the cave. He looked around, his eyes taking a moment to adjust to the gloom of the cave as he dropped the turkey.

“Hey,” Felistia waved a talon when she saw him, “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show up.”

She smiled, getting to her paws.

“You’d better have brought something back,” Shiraku grumbled from the corner, not bothering to turn and face him, “I didn’t spend all day fishing for you to come back empty clawed.”

Felistia shook her snout at the Sea Talon in exasperating, though she had a grin on her face.

“Don’t mind her,” she said, brushing a wing against his, “She’s just tired.”

A loud ummmfff echoed from the back of the cave, quickly followed by other muffled protests.

Zoltar couldn’t help the faint chuckle that escaped his mouth. She may be insufferable at times, but despite all logic, he was growing fond of the Sea Talon.

Felistia rolled her eyes, “Anyway, how’d it go? I take it you didn’t find the deer, seeing as that’s a turkey.”

Zoltar shook his head, “No, there wasn’t a single hoof print, nothing.”

He kept it vague on purpose. He couldn’t tell her what had really happened. If he did, he’d have to tell her the whole story, Sidious, the Ghost Talons, stealing the gems, everything…

He cringed at the thought. Though, if he couldn’t convince Sidious to try a different plan, he may have to tell her. It would be the only way to protect them.

“Zoltar,” Felistia was giving him a strange look, “You okay?”

“Yah, yah,” Zoltar said, rubbing his horns, “Sorry, just got a lot on my mind.”

He paused for a second, “Hey… do you mind if I have my dinner on one of the pillars? I need some space to think through a few things.”

“Sure…I guess,” Felistia said a little hesitantly before adding, “Shiraku and I had already eaten anyway.”

“Thanks.” Zoltar quickly grabbed the turkey, relieved that he didn’t have to stay in the cave, “I’ll be back later tonight.”

“Okay,” Felistia watched him leap out the entrance, a bewildered look across her snout.

In a few moments, Zoltar was standing on top of one of the many columns scattered across the coastline. He took in a deep breath, the salty ocean air tingling as it flooded his nostrils.

Daylight was fading, the last trails of the suns light retreating as if fleeing the oncoming darkness. A cool breeze brushed over his scales, whipping and wailing as it swept through the pillars.

A distant howl echoed out from the nearby forest and Zoltar ducked, flattening his wings so that they lay flat against the stone. He quickly scanned the tree line, searching for any signs of movement.All was still. As he lay there, his thoughts drifted back to Sidious and what had happened with Felistia.

He had to confront the Ghost Talon at some point and soon, but what would he say? In his head, he was firm and would demand a different plan. But now that he’d had time to think about it, he knew that wasn’t how it would go. No, he’d probably cower, Sidious would tell him what a wet lump of mud he was and nothing would change.

He sighed, picking up a stray feather and twisting it around with his talons.

What was he going to do?

A sudden flurry of wing beats broke through the silence as something landed on the rock face behind him.

“Evening Shadow Talon,” Sidious hissed just as Zoltar leapt around.

“Sidious,” Zoltar growled, not hiding his disdain for the dragon, “What do you want?”

The Ghost Talon examined one of his claws for a moment, holding the curved talon up to the last of the light, “I think you’ll be happy to know that I have a plan in the works. One that will solve our little jewel problem and get rid of any witnesses to the crime in one fell swoop.”

“Yah, I know.” Zoltar clinched the rock underneath his paws, steeling himself for a fight.

Sidious eyed him with mild surprise, “Really?”

Zoltar took a deep breath. It was now or never, “You can’t do it. I won’t allow you to use my friends for that.”

“Friends?” Sidious barked in a half laugh, half growl, “Those dragons? They aren’t even from the same tribe as you, not to mention that one is a Sea Talon. Why do you care about them?”

Zoltar hesitated for a moment. ‘Why do I care about them?’

Despite detesting the Ghost Talon, Zoltar had to admit that Sidious did have a point. Shiraku was a Sea Talon. Felistia was an Ice Talon, he had a reason to not want her dead, but Shiraku? That was a different matter. Didn’t Shadow Talons and Sea Talons hate one another? A dragon from either side would leap at the chance to tear into a member of the opposite tribe…right?

Why didn’t he feel that way?

It wasn’t even like he’d have to kill Shiraku. It would be indirect. The Wisp Talons would do the dirty work. His claws would be clean.

If he did protect her and Felistia somehow, that would mean he’d have to get the gem. He could almost hear Hisster snorting in disappointment. What dragon risked their own scales for members from a different tribe? It was unheard of and yet, he knew that was what he had to do.

Sidious was watching him with sick fascination, seemingly enjoying his little dilemma. His forked tongue flicked out and he smirked.

Zoltar huffed and a small tendril of flame escaped his jaws. He would not back down this time. Growling, he set a determined look across his snout. “Yes. Even the Sea Talon. I don’t care if it would be easier to use them. We have to think of another way. I thought I could…”

“You could what?” Sidious interrupted, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “Steal the gem on your own, ask your little Wisp Talon friend to help you get it?”

His slender tail flicked irritably.

“I don’t know?” Zoltar took a step back, wavering a little under the Ghost Talon’s icy glare.

“Oh you don’t know!” Sidious shook his head in exasperation, his crimson eyes having taken on a cruel glint as he stalked closer, “That’s brilliant. Here I am wasting my time on this wretched hell hole of an island when I could be climbing the ranks back home because you don’t know. Then I come up with a plan and you have the audacity say no!”

Sidious was snarling now, his wickedly sharp fangs cutting the air with every growl, “Who do you think you are Shadow Talon to tell me no? You worthless reptile. You don’t even have a plan of your own. All you give me is I don’t know!”

“I’ll think of something,” Zoltar burst out, desperate for the Ghost Talon to drop his voice. What would happen if Shiraku or Felistia heard them? He was sure Sidious wouldn’t hesitate to kill them right now after what he’d said.

“Oh you’d better think of something,” Sidious spat, foul smelling yellow smoke pouring from his jaws, “I won’t wait forever Shadow Talon. I don’t care how you feel about those lizards down there. I’ll get that gem with or without your approval. If you want to save your pathetic little friends, you’d better have it before the next full moon. Or else.”

Zoltar had backed up to the edge of the pillar, his back talons clinging desperately to the crumbling edge. All pretenses of holding his ground were now mere fantasies.

“And don’t think your little Wisp Talon friend is safe,” Sidious hissed through bared teeth as he flexed his claws, “She’ll hand you over to her tribe soon enough. I won’t have that happen.”

Zoltar flinched away from him as the Ghost Talon flicked out a talon and grabbed the turkey laying on the pillar next to him.

“See you in a few days. You’d better have something by then. Don’t disappoint me,” He spread his massive silver wings and sprang into the air, banking back towards the maze, his silvery shape swallowed up by the mist.

His words lingered in Zoltar’s ears as night finally strangled the last of the light from the island. He had two weeks to get the gem or Felistia and Shiraku were dead.


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1487 Reviews


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Thu Jun 16, 2022 10:02 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hello again!

I'm slowly working my way through the older works in the Green Room and that means I'm actually starting to read this in order which is hopefully going to help my reviews to be a little more in depth!

I really love the imagery you use in this world. It seems like such a beautiful place and the way you describe it makes me wish I could experience it! I like how you're consistent with description through colour and how we can relate some of that back to the colours of your main characters; it's a nice theme.

I also like that you bring back that time pressure. It's easy to get lost in what time has passed, so reminding the reader that twelve days is not that far away really helps. The whole conversation with Sidious also really helps with that tension. I like that Zoltar was surprised by the confrontation because now it means he hasn't prepared a plan, and has a very short time in which to do so.

The characterisation of Sidious was also really good here - I feel like he's taking shape further and it makes the whole thing seem more realistic.

I liked this chapter overall - a good pace, and bringing back a reminder of what's at stake here!

Happy Thursday

Icy




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Thu Mar 17, 2022 6:56 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi felistia,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

I see we are moving in a direction where the story will progress and also finally we have the conversation between Sidious and Zoltar. I'm very happy about that, because in the previous chapter I really liked that we got this kind of artificial break, but now we're getting to this point.

First of all, I think it's good that we're now experiencing Zoltar's dilemma a little bit again, so that this short break is well removed over the course of the story. The short descriptions you insert seem appropriate here, because it shows once again what Zoltar has in his thoughts, and therefore doesn't concentrate too much on what's around him. Especially fitting with his plan to finally tell the two Talons something about him, or to talk about Emerald.

The conversation / argument / confrontation between Sidious and Zoltar was the main point in this chapter. I was surprised but also pleased that we didn't see Zoltar directly coming up with another plan or putting into action the things he wanted to throw at Sidious, because it is precisely this "surprise attack" that leaves a shocked and frightened Zoltar.

I liked the dialogue between the two here, especially because you always included some more information, which made it clear to see not only Zoltar but Sidious as well. It's definitely a big step we've taken now and, as always, I'm excited to see where we go and what else will happen to Zoltar.

Other points I noticed while reading:

He sighed. It couldn't last forever. The next full moon sacrifice wasn't far off; twelve days or so.

I'm not so sure about this, but I have the impression that we are skipping too many days here? It could be that I'm completely wrong here, but it seems to me like only a few days have passed since the last full moon and it's usually 28 days until the next full moon and I also realise now that we're in a fantasy world, like forget everything. :D

"I didn't spend all day fishing for you to come back empty clawed."

I like that description! :D

of movement.All was still.

A space is needed here.

Sidious was watching him with sick fascination, seemingly enjoying his little dilemma.

I think this is the first time we see more of a personal side to Sidious and I like that it opens up his character a bit more. We know Sidious isn't the best character-wise, but that line made me find him downright obnoxious and I think that's great that I'm disgusted by him. :D

In summary, a good chapter with a great fight at the end. It looks like we're picking up speed to a bigger plot and turning point.

Have fun writing!

Mailice




felistia says...


Thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked this chapter.

Also the full moon is every two weeks as there are two moons on this world. :D





Thanks for the info! :D I'm sure it looks beautiful.




He began to wonder why he had felt uneasy at all. It was like a man wondering in broad daylight why a dream had appeared so terrible to him at night.
— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart