Hi there felistia!
First Impressions
Solar just got a lot scarier in this chapter! I definitely am taking him more seriously as an antagonist now. This whole chapter has the vibe of a horror movie, what with Zoltar drifting in and out of consciousness and not really being able to perceive what’s going on around him. I like that Solar and Nova converse in a slightly ‘nicer’ way than Solar treats Zoltar because it goes to show being nice to your own brethren doesn’t preclude doing horrible things to other dragons, which I think is a bit of a recurring thing here.
Characters
My impression of Nova from this chapter and the last is that he has moral impulses, but not the courage to stand up to other dragons in his own tribe. I find him to be a sympathetic character because it’s clear he’s very scared.
“Listen here Shadow Talon. If you ever hurt my brother again, you won’t have to wait for the Death Grippers to kill you. I’ll rip you apart myself. Got it?”
I thought this line of Solar’s dialogue was well-written. It sounds appropriately aggressive to match his aggressive behaviour this chapter, using extreme verbs like “rip” and “kill”. The “listen here” to start it off is also a nice touch.
After that brief heroic effort in the previous chapter, Zoltar is back to feeling cowed by the antagonists. I felt disappointed, but not in a bad way – I just felt disappointed for Zoltar, since I still remember him being quite close to at least making some progress. I think his fear makes sense given the way Solar acts in this chapter, drugging him and also being the one to directly thwart his escape attempt.
Description
Something that could be improved with some of the descriptions could be spreading out the figurative language a bit? For example, I’ve noticed the descriptions sometimes use a very vivid image like “Darkness clinging to him like tree sap” and then quite soon after that following it up with another ‘complex’ description like that, such as “like floating, suspended in an eternal void”. I felt my imagination was a bit overwhelmed trying to tie these things together, even though individually they work well as imagery.
Zoltar froze, his spines prickling as a claw trailed over his snout, creating an awful scraping sound as it hooked on his scales.
Another example would be this line, where we have “prickling”, which evokes a lot of senses like touch, sight and possibly sound as well, and then immediately after another sound image, within the same sentence. I think I would have liked to see more lines of description to slow down or highlight the pace of the more emotionally loaded moments so they would have more impact relative to the in-between scenes like Zoltar regaining consciousness.
Plot
I wonder what is going to happen now that Zoltar knows that Solar was Nira’s killer. Would his desire for revenge come back? Or would it lead to some other kind of confrontation? At this point, I’m not sure, but it does add an extra complication to Zoltar’s escape plan plus his plan to steal the gem.
Since Zoltar’s first escape plan has failed, I’m guessing he’ll now have to cooperate, or pretend to cooperate, with his captors for a bit, at least until he finds a weak spot in their security.
Overall
This chapter leaves me curious about how Nova might play into the plot in future chapters. He’s shown not to be as cruel as Solar and Zoltar seems to think so as well. I sure hope Zoltar won’t let his anger overcome him, as I have the feeling he’ll need to be smart to make his way out of this predicament.
Hope some of this helps, and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Lim
Points: 41664
Reviews: 542
Donate