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Young Writers Society



The Quest for Fire - Into the Mists - Chapter 36

by felistia


Zoltar raced through the trees, branches whipping at his wings as he tore through the undergrowth. He wasn’t sure where he was going. All he knew was that he had to find Sidious.

A barrage of thoughts flooded his mind. The Ghost Talon had gone too far this time. How could he do this? He couldn’t use Felistia or Shiraku as Wisp Talon bait. They had to come up with another plan; one that didn’t involve killing the closest thing he had to companions. Without them, he’d go mad. He wasn’t about to just let Sidious take them…not without a fight.

Zoltar growled, smoke pouring from his nostrils. He wasn’t going to be meek this time, he wasn’t going to cower and say nothing. This time Sidious would listen.

He stopped for a few moments, panting as he scanned his surroundings. He was deep into the forest now. Trees encircled him from all sides, the distant roar of the ocean nearly drowned out by the rustle of the leaves overhead. Felistia and Shiraku shouldn’t be able to hear him out here.

“Sidious,” Zoltar snarled, not attempting to hide the anger in his voice, “I know you’re here. Come out.”

He glared at the surrounding forest. He knew the Ghost Talon was out there. He was always there, listening and watching everything he did. Never missing an opportunity to point out how useless he was or how he could have done better.

Zoltar bared his teeth, rage fueling him. He didn’t know why he was so angry. After days of constant terror, worry and sadness, it was like something had broken inside him. A primal beast had awoken, hungry and ready to fight.

Suddenly, a flash of emerald green raced across his vision. He barely had enough time to raise his tail barb before it slammed into his side and sent him careening into the leaf litter.

“What in blue mo….” Talons clamped over his snout, cutting short his roar of fury.

“Shhh,” the dragoness whispered, before snickering.

“Mmmff, mmmff?” Zoltar garbled through closed jaws, his back spines flared in shock. What was Emerald doing here? How had she found him? If she was here, were there other Wisp Talons close by?

Emerald giggled again, her scales a rippling ocean of rosy pinks and honey golds, “Look who’s on top of who now.”

Zoltar scowled, though any lingering alarm had quickly disappeared. It didn’t seem like she meant to harm him and if there were other Wisp Talons, they would have been all over him by now. She must be alone.

“So…” Emerald started, seemingly relishing the fact that she had him pinned again, “who’s your friends?”

Zoltar flattened his ears, giving her a question look. Friends? Had she heard him calling Sidious? How much had she heard?

“The Ice Talon and Sea Talon,” Emerald elaborated after Zoltar didn’t say anything, “I saw you guys talking on the beach.”

He flinched. She’d seen the others, but how?

“Mmmmff,” he tried, but her talons were still clasped over his snout.

“Oh…right,” she said, quickly releasing him while adding, “Don’t try to bite me okay. It won’t go well for you.”

She flashed her curved fangs to drive the point home. Zoltar nodded hurriedly.

“So how do you know an Ice Talon and Sea Talon?” she asked, getting off of him.

Zoltar’s mind whirled, thoughts howling through his head like a hurricane. How had she found the others? How much had she heard? Did she know about Sidious too? What should he say? How much could he tell her? Should he even tell her anything? How long had she been watching him?

Emerald coked her head, eyeing him as he fought for words.

“They’re just friends,” he finally managed to spit out, not knowing what else to say.

“I can see that,” she laughed as though amused by the situation he found himself in, “but how did you become friends. I mean, I might not know a lot about the world outside, but the one thing I do know is that different tribes don’t tend to get along.”

“Well…” Zoltar scratched his horns, desperately trying to think of a way out of this topic, “not normally. I guess…”

He paused, thinking. Why did he, Felistia and Shiraku get along? By all logic, they should be at each other’s throats, not hunting together or moons forbid be sleeping in the same cave together. It must look very strange to an outsider.

Emerald leaned in closer, waiting for his answer.

“I guess we kind of need each other…to survive and support one another. Life’s a lot hard alone.”

Emerald smiled, another bloom of iridescent gold sweeping over her wings, “You’re a strange dragon, but I like you. You’re nothing like they said you’d be.”

“They?” Zoltar echoed, sitting down with his barbed tail curled. She didn’t seem like she meant any harm, but one could never be too careful.

“Oh, the elders or brotherhood if you’d like to call them that. They tell us everything we need to know about outsiders.”

Brotherhood? That’s new. Don’t they still have a chief?

“What do they say about us?” Zoltar asked, suddenly feeling intrigued. No one had heard from the Wisp Talons in the last decade or so. Not since their last chief had been murdered. Rumors stated that it had been a Moon Talon, but no one had fully agreed on it, being that the Moon Talons were the most peaceful tribe in Megalonia.It hadn’t mattered though. The Wisp Talons had closed off all trade and had banned outsiders from the island. No one had seen or heard from them since.

Until now.

“The usual types of things you’d expect,” Emerald continued, “That you’re dim witted, murderous thieves. That kind of thing.”

“Yah,” Zoltar flattened his ears, a little insulted, though he hadn’t expected anything different, “That’s pretty much what my tribe says about outsiders too.”

There was an awkward silence between them for a few moments as each pondered what the other had said.

Emerald’s scales had shifted to a bubbling blend of lime greens, crimson reds and orange bursts. She shook her head as though trying to remove a stray thought.

“Anyway,” Zoltar began after he couldn’t stand the silence any longer, “How did you find me exactly?”

Emerald looked up quickly, disturbed from her thoughts. She gave him a cheeky grin, “Well, after yesterday’s encounter, I decided to follow you home. It wasn’t that hard really. You were flying like a lopsided penguin.”

She laughed, “I’ve been spying on you and your friends since then.”

Zoltar felt like slapping himself. She’d followed him back to the cave. Of course she had. He was an idiot. What if she’d warned the rest of her tribe? She could still do that. What would Felistia think if she knew? He couldn’t believe he’d been so careless.

“Wow. What’s up with you? Your face looks like a walrus sat on it,” Emerald asked, her wings a pulsing wave of cool cobalt blues and fiery golds.

“You followed me back?” Zoltar dug his talons into the damp leaf litter. What was he going to do? He had to tell the others. They had to find a new hiding place. But how? Emerald could be watching them at any time and they would be none the wiser.

“Well, yah,” she said, shrugging as though nothing was wrong with that statement, “You’re an interesting dragon and I wasn’t sure if I’d see you again, so I thought I best find out where you live.”

“But Emerald…” Zoltar stopped, not sure how to continue. She may be nice now, but if he started calling members of her tribe murderers, who knew how she’d react. He couldn’t risk angering her, not now. Not with the information she had. He had to be careful.

As if sensing his anxiety, Emerald tentatively touched his paw, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone about it. It’ll be our little secret.”

Zoltar slowly looked up at her, searching her eyes. She seemed genuine about it. He sighed, a small sense of relief filling him, “Thank you.”

She smiled softly, her eyes lingering on his for a few moments, “Anyway… it was good to see you again.” She tapped his talons with hers before slowly getting to her paws, “Stay safe okay?”

Retreating back towards the forest, she lingered on the edge of the trees for a moment as if debating something. She shook her snout, smiling sadly before stepping into the undergrowth, her scales melting back into the forest.


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Wed Jun 08, 2022 9:24 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi felistia,

Swinging back today for a short review on this chapter! I know I'm not quite reading in order, so sorry about that.

I like how Zoltar has evolved throughout the chapters to the point he's almost willing to admit that he cares about Felistia and Shiraku. He's taking action this time too, which is certainly development from the version of his character I was reading about in the first ten chapters or so of the novel. I live for character development, so I really love this for him.

“I guess we kind of need each other…to survive and support one another. Life’s a lot hard alone.”

I think hard should be 'harder'.

I think Mailice pointed out most of my other nitpicks so I'll just talk about my overall impression.

I liked that we're reintroduced to Emerald as I remember reading part of her character earlier and finding her interesting. She's a clear contrast to Zoltar and I like how she always seems to throw him off. I was surprised by the amount she distracts him from finding Shikaru and Felisita though. At the beginning of the chapter he's racing around calling out and looking for them and by the end he's only thinking of Emerald. Is she so distracting that he would forget his friends?

The description of her was well written though, and I'm interested to see where she comes back into the story and what her significance is!

Happy Wednesday

Icy




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Thu Mar 10, 2022 7:07 pm
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MailicedeNamedy wrote a review...



Hi felistia,

Mailice here with a short review! :D

When I started reading the chapter, I thought I had skipped a few chapters. *checks* Oh, yes we have that abrupt cliffhanger in the previous chapter! We've reached a new pace in the story here and it seemed like with the teasing at the beginning that we're in a different situation, but Emerald seems to have squeezed in a bit here. :D

He wasn't about to just let Sidious take them...not without a fight.


I like how Zoltar has visibly changed a lot here. Whether he actually follows through with what he's thinking here is another matter, but I really like that we get a really good look here at his anger that has been building up for so long now. I also think it's a good switch from all the sadness he had at first when he was still in the cave and how everything is moving into a new phase here now. I also think that Zoltar can't bury in problem there, but shovels out several new problems.

This time Sidious would listen.


Zoltar seems more and more as if he could explode at any moment and there is a big danger that he says things to some that he doesn't want to say and thereby his whole construct of lies can break. You clearly build up a lot of tension, and also show that this "blind" rage of Zoltar himself comes across really well based on the lines and descriptions.

He was deep into the forest now.


I'd remove the "now" here because it suddenly sounds like we're in a documentary. :D

"Sidious," Zoltar snarled, not attempting to hide the anger in his voice,
.

I think if Zoltar really isn't trying to hide his anger, an exclamation mark would definitely make more of an impression than a simple comma. :D

Never missing an opportunity to point out how useless he was or how he could have done better.


I know that "he" means Zoltar, but since the whole paragraph is really just talking about Sidious, I would insert Zoltar at least at the first "he" to give the reader that guarantee that we're talking about Zoltar here.

Emerald giggled again, her scales a rippling ocean of rosy pinks and honey golds,


You've given very beautiful descriptions for Emerald several times and I really like that about her so far. You give her a very majestic look with it. :D

"who's your friends?"


I think here it should be "who're" because you're referring to Felistia and Shiraku.

The chapter has really taken on a very strong expression here, and I like how we so casually get some new information that Emerald is telling. It fits really well into the story, and gives the whole chapter a bit of that respite that Zoltar sorely needs. In parts, I think you could show a little more clearly how Zoltar is feeling and how his anger is probably coming down a little bit with everything that's just happened. I think that's still missing a little bit in this case. Apart from that, it's a chapter like any other that provides a new surprise. :D

In summary, a really good chapter. It seemed a bit like a building block between two more, just to increase the tension, because you managed again to bring Zoltar from one world to the next and his anger was pent up a bit again. I'm really looking forward to when the confrontation between Zoltar and Sidious will come! :D

Have fun writing!

Mailice




felistia says...


Thank you so much for the review. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. :D




It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.
— Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind