z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Camp Tornado: Part Five

by Horisun


Something to note: I've decided that their is not an epic sword battle between Talia and Davis. Talia still has the sword. But Davis does not know who killed the spider. 

So yeah. 

Word Count: 2961

Leaf knelt down, and took a shaky breath. Sweat was sliding down their face, and his heart was going at their ribcage like a jackhammer.

They brushed their hair from their eyes, and stood up, trying to steady their breath. They seemed to have underestimated how far they’d had to run, and didn’t have any water on them.

Maybe I should turn back.

Just as the thought occurred to them, they heard a noise up ahead.

It sounded like a wounded animal. But then they heard footsteps, and a string of angry words.

Leaf took one last gulp of air, before pounding forward.

As they were about to climb over a fallen log, their foot caught on something.

“Oh god.”

They looked down, somehow, they had wedged their foot between the log and a boulder.

Leaf pulled against it, then knelt down to try and tug off his shoe.

Just as they were about to yank themselves free, Leaf heard a thud from behind them.

Leaf turned, slowly. Heart pounding in their ears, to face…

A lizard.

A really weird looking lizard.

Its bodies skin looked like it was sagging off, and it was bigger than any lizard Leaf had ever seen.

Also, it was glowing. A faint blue, to be exact.

It was heaving, its eyes squeezed shut. Leaf stared at it, before freeing his foot, and tip toeing over to it.

“Um… Hi.” They said, sitting down beside it.

The lizard raised its head, eyes blinking open to reveal two very human eyes.

Then, it seemed to unfurl, revealing stunning, crystal wings.

“Oh, my lord.” Leaf gasped, reaching forward sub consciously. “What are you?” The dragon snapped forward at Leafs fingers, and they fell back.

“Sorry…” Leaf said sheepishly. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

The dragon tilted their head at Leaf. For a moment, they seemed to come to an understanding.

Then their head whirled around, and an arrow came whizzing towards them.

Chapter Twelve: Demons and Dragons and Monkeys Oh My

The Dragon screeched. Scorching Leafs ear drums. A silver arrow sliced through their leg. Blood splattering across Leaf.

They jumped to their feet. Falling into a tree, and stumbling down the hill. Splinters scraped against him. Growls and cries following him.

Leaf slammed against a tree. His body screaming in pain. They hauled themselves up with a branch, and looked up the hill.

They put a hand to their chest, feeling their heart pounding against it. So fast, it was going to burst.

For a moment, they considered lying down, and going to sleep. Their eyes were heavy, their stomach was hurling, and his mouth was dry. Tears were brimming, and slipping down his face, mingling with mud and sweat, stinging as they slipped over scratches.

“Leaf!”

Someone called their name, followed by skidding. They lifted their head, feeling as though there were rocks in it, rather than brains.

“Davis?”

“Yeah.” He said. “What the- why did you- what are you doing out here?” He panted.

“Thought I’d admire the scenery from closer up.” Leaf deadpanned.

Davis shook his head, “C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” He said, handing Leaf a bottled water.

Leaf could’ve sworn it took an hour to get back up the hill. Even then, it was hard to tell they were at the top, considering it was all rocks and moss and twigs.

Davis guided Leaf to a semi flat boulder, and Leaf collapsed onto it gratefully. They watched, sipping water, as Davis pulled out a first aid kit.

“You kids are absolutely insane. I swear, why does this happen every year?”

“Kids follow you into the woods to spy on you every year?” Leaf asked.

Davis sighed, “Yep, it’s a pain.”

“And no ones died?” Leaf took a swig from their water bottle. “Because I nearly did.”

Davis paused. “You’d hear about deaths.”

Leaf decided not to dwell on that very suspicious answer, as Davis patched them up.

“Why did you shoot the dragon?”

Davis froze. “What dragon?” He asked, eyes darting from them to the ground.

“It was obviously you. Is it ok?”

Davis shook his head, and their spirits fell, before Davis spoke again. “I had to choose between saving you and catching it. Mothers going to kill me.”

Davis rose to his feet, and lifted Leaf up. “Come on, let’s get you back to camp.”

Leaf and Davis walked in silence for a long time. It seemed to stretch on forever.

Then, there was a shuffle above them, and a glint of blue.

“Oh no, you stupid dragon.” Leaf muttered, eyes going wide.

Davis saw it too. He shoved Leaf forward, and from the air, drew a bow.

“What the-“ Leaf gasped, as the arrow flew towards the canopy. There was a whistle of air, and then the dragon fell from the trees.

There was a sickening splat. Leaf ran forward, but Davis was five steps ahead of him.

“Don’t do anything.” Davis said, nocking another arrow. Pointed directly at its heart.

“NO! Wait!”

Amy came crashing out from behind a tree. She stumbled forward. Then stood between Davis and the Dragon. The arrow and fire. She shook. It looked like her leg might collapse beneath her. But she stared straight at Davis. Eyes boring into him.

Davis muttered a bad word. But he lowered his bow. “Amy, get out of the way. Please.

Leaf couldn’t see his face. But his arms were shaking.

“No.” She said.

Leaf took a few steps forward, wincing as the leaves crunched beneath him.

“Get out of the way.”

They met Amy’s eyes, her eyes going wide. She nodded slightly.

Davis tried to shove her out of the way. Amy bit him, and kneed him.

Then Leaf picked up a stick, and lunged forward.

They wrapped their arms around Davis’s neck. Leaf jabbed towards his eyes. Then tried to pull him away from Amy.

But she ran forward, and tackled them. She wasn’t heavy. But with her extra weight, they fell to the ground. Leaf slamming against the stone, hard.

Amy grabbed their fallen stick, and wacked Davis in the face. Davis cried out. He was still holding his bow. But he only knocked Amy off him.

Leaf tensed, and rolled over. Making Davis beneath him. Leaf stumbled to their feet, and plunged it towards his stomach.

But this time, Davis shoved it out of his way. Leaf ran forward, but Davis rolled out of their reach. He drew his bow, and aimed it at Leaf.

They froze, and looked to Amy.

“Run.” They mouthed.

To their relief, she grabbed the dragon and ran.

Davis turned, aiming at her. But Leaf stepped in front of him again.

“What is wrong with this camp?” They asked. Mostly to themselves, since Davis was unlikely to answer.

But he did.

“So many things.” He laughed. “Including me.”

And then, as if Leaf had been wacked in the head, everything vanished.

Chapter Thirteen: Where Is Amy

Draco highly doubted that Leaf just ‘passed out’ during the nature walk, judging by his bruises and scratches. But no matter how hard they pressed them for details, they’d just say they didn’t remember.

Then their eyes would go foggy, and they would shake their head. It was all highly suspicious, if you asked Draco.

At least he wasn’t sniffing around Mrs. Kembles office, like Talia was.

“I’m not sniffing around!” Talia said, after Draco had mentioned it for the fifth time. “I didn’t even go inside!”

“Yeah, but you’re peeking in her windows, aren’t you?” Draco asked, sipping at his peppermint tea.

“Maybe.” Talia said sheepishly. “But don’t you think it’s odd that Leaf can’t remember anything? It’s almost as if…” She gasped dramatically, “their minds been wiped!”

“Talia, we’ve been over this dozens of times,” June said, looking up from a word search. “If Davis could wipe minds, why didn’t he wipe ours when we found the tower?”

“But don’t you think-“

“Hello.”

They all jumped, and turned to face Leaf, who had just walked into the room.

“There is an assembly we need to attend.” Leaf smiled.

That was odd. Draco had to admit.

There was something off about the way Leaf had been speaking lately. It had been much worse right after the nature walk, though.

“Hi, Leaf!” Talia chirped, “How’s your head feeling?”

Leafs eyes went foggy. “Light.”

Then they walked back outside, leaving a swinging door in their place.

“Ok, seriously!” Talia cried. “Tell me he isn’t being Mind Controlled!”

“Talias right.” Flower said as she walked in from the girls room. They all turned to look at her.

“I am?” Talia asked.

“Ok, maybe not about the Mind Controlling part.” Flower laughed, before her face fell. “But there is something really off about them. I hope they aren’t brain damaged!” She started biting her nails.

Talia rolled her eyes, and turned back to her notebook.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, before June stood up. “We should get to that assembly.

“Right.” Everyone chorused.

Draco found Darion at the back of the crowd. Just like everyone else, he looked horrified.

“What’s going on?” Draco asked, craning his neck to see the front.

There was a giant blackboard, and Mrs. Kemble was smiling down at all of them from in front of it.

Man, I really need glasses. He thought, straining to read it.

“We’re going to have class.” Darion said.

Draco looked at him, “Well, they did say they had nature lessons on the pamphlet.”

“No, I mean real classes. As in, math, language arts,”

“No way.” Draco gasped, staring at him, “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not.”

“This is an outrage!”

“It is.”

Draco shook his head. “Maybe Talia is right, and Mrs. Kemble really is pure evil.”

Darion laughed, “I think that’s a given.”

It took Draco a moment to realize he had been holding his hand. Draco pulled away silently.

Just then, Davis appeared in front of them, holding a stack of papers.

“Hey Draco, hey Darion.” He said.

He looked incredibly pale. His hands shook as he rifled through what looked like schedules. “How’s Leaf doing?” He asked.

“A bit crazy. What the heck did you do to them?” Darion asked.

“They must’ve hit their head pretty hard.” Davis muttered, passing them each a schedule. It looked like he was about to move on to the next group of people, but he paused. “Have you seen Amy around?”

“Who’s Amy?” Talia popped up from behind them.

Davis blinked at her, then shook his head. “Forget about it.” He slipped back into the crowd to pass more schedules around.

“So who is Amy.” Talia asked, pulling out her notebook.

“No idea.” Darion said, staring after Davis.

“I wonder if it has anything to do with what really happened to Leaf.” Talia began to pace. “Maybe we can ask them if they know her.”

“Maybe.” Darion said.

“I’m going to go ask them. You two stay here.” And with that, she ran off.

Darion laughed as she ran off. “Talias great.”

Draco scowled. “She’s annoying.”

“One can be both.” Darion said. “Come on, let’s see our schedules.”

“So I’ve been asking around. And no one seems to know an Amy. And since I can’t give any other information, like, what she looks like, or something, no one can tell me anything.” Talia said, as they walked to their first ‘class’

Why couldn’t I have language arts with Darion? Draco sighed. “Not even cabinmates?”

Talia shook her head, then paused. “I suppose I haven’t asked the seven year-olds yet.”

“That seems like a pretty big oversight.” Draco pointed out.

“Well, there are a lot more of them then older kids.” Talia said, before grabbing Dracos arm. “Alas, if only I had assistance in my quest! Yet I must make this journey alone…”

“Get off me.” Draco said, shoving her away. “Let’s just get to this ‘Creative Writing’ class.”

“Please draw a sketch of your imaginary monster, and write a short description about what you have created-“

Draco wasn’t really paying any attention. He was too busy adding the last details to his picture of Mrs. Kemble.

Once he decided it was complete, (Which was only after he gave her demon horns) he slid it over to Talia.

She, unlike him, had been paying the utmost attention to the Councilor. Draco doubted she was actually enjoying the lesson though, considering she was glaring daggers.

Talia glanced down at his drawing, and stifled a laugh. She glanced around, and scribbled something on it, before passing it back to him.

That’s what was missing. A mustache. Now it was perfect.

He discreetly slid the drawing into his makeshift desk.

Draco glanced up at the sun. It was nearly at its peak. They should be free soon. 


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Points: 0
Reviews: 112

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Mon Jan 04, 2021 7:55 pm
SpunkyMonkey wrote a review...



Hi! Spunky here to review!

Grows:

Sweat was sliding down their face, and his heart was going at their ribcage like a jackhammer.

Since Leaf is a nonbinary character, "his" should be "their"

“Oh, my lord.” Leaf gasped, reaching forward sub consciously.


"sub consciously" should be "subconsciously"

Leaf slammed against a tree. His body screaming in pain.

Right here, you switch between past and present tense.

“And no ones died?” Leaf took a swig from their water bottle.

I think you meant "no one's"

“Ok, seriously!” Talia cried. “Tell me he isn’t being Mind Controlled!”

This is stylistic, but I don't think "Mind Controlled" should be capitalized

“Talias right.” Flower said as she walked in from the girls room.

"Talias" should be "Talia's" because you are saying Talia is not that there are several Talias.

“Who’s Amy?” Talia popped up from behind them.

Wait...isn't Talia's real name Amy?

Darion laughed as she ran off. “Talias great.”

Again you need an apostrophe.

Glows:

Nice! I really want to know what happens next! This is great, it just needs some polishing up.

Bye! Have an awesome day!




Horisun says...


Frick, I just realized how many times I slipped into other pronouns for them, thanks for pointing that out! :D


Random avatar
SpunkyMonkey says...


No problem!



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33 Reviews


Points: 2189
Reviews: 33

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Mon Nov 16, 2020 3:21 pm
Ave38 wrote a review...



This new update is super interesting! I love the dragon and the description of its wings. The bigger outlook you gave into Davis and the camp at large was great! I love how you described his arms shaking to add more emotion to the scene.
I did notice a few mistakes.
"and his heart was going at their ribcage like a jackhammer." I got confused with the his part.
"Then, it seemed to unfurl, revealing stunning, crystal wings." I don't think you would have a comma after stunning.
The beginning of chapter twelve seemed very clunky to me. I get what you were trying to do, but it interrupted the flow of the story for me a little bit.
"“No.” She said." You would have a comma after no instead of a period.
" Amy bit him, and kneed him." Using him twice in one sentence felt a little repetitive to me.
Other than that, there were just some minor dialogue and apostrophe errors.
I can't wait to see where this goes next!




Horisun says...


Thanks for the review!




hmmm. you know, the quote generator deserves some garlic bread
— SilverNight