Training Wheels

Hey, fellow writer. Time to review your work. Now keep in mind I'm not interested in dissing other people's work. I'm just here to give you some advice to help you out and get you motivated. First off, your describing is wicked. Just wanted to put that out there. Anyway, review time. Dude, this kind of writing belongs in a book. Literally. You should write a short story or something. There's not a steady "flow" here as a poem. Do you know what I mean? But maybe if you put this kind of writing in a book, then you might find some potential. If your not into writing books, that's totally fine. You do you. Keep up the work.

Hello! Londone here to review your piece.

I enjoyed this poem an awful lot. It made me feel a variation of emotions, but the one that overruled was satisfaction. Your sensory imagery was marvelous and I loved, loved, loved it.

To agree with @niteowl, though, maybe training wheels wasn't the best phrase. Once you've gone through difficult times, that may not be the end of them. Trust me, I know. There are still a lot of bumps afterwards for recovery. Maybe something like 'The Road' would suit this poem better.

The flow for this poem is also very good. I never really fell off of the track or got thrown off at all, and that's rare in most works that I read. Well done, I applaud you for that.

A little nitpick I had was that some stanzas didn't fit the message you were trying to convey. Perhaps tweak the second and third verse.

I enjoyed this very much! I hope you write more soon!

Londone

Hi there EKK15! Niteowl here to review this poem.

Overall, I like the concept of this poem. I feel like it gets stronger as it goes on, describing the activities we take comfort in to survive the tougher times. That said, I'm not sure "training wheels" is the best metaphor for this concept. Think about what training wheels literally are--a bridge between the easy things we know how to do (riding a stable tricycle) and the harder thing we're learning how to do (ride a less steady bicycle). Once you've learned how to ride a bike, you rarely (if ever) go back to a bike with training wheels on it.

What the poem seems to be describing instead is a comfort zone, something familiar that one might go back to again and again, even if they've grown past needing it. Common terms for this concept include crutches or security blankets. In a poem, you might want a less well-known metaphor, so I would think about what you're trying to convey and what metaphors might fit this concept better.

On a more technical note, the second stanza doesn't seem to fit the poem. It's sort of vague and the wording is kind of clunky. I'm not sure you need it in the piece at all.

The last three stanzas are stronger and have some excellent imagery. Overall, I'd say this poem is well-done. Keep writing!