I just sit there and don’t say anything to be honest
Silence is like music
It's a work of art
And that’s why I’m going to help you
And I know that’s not ideal
You run up the stairs
And you try to talk
But the sounds burry themselves in your throat
Sometimes you just have to sit there and breathe
Don’t get tangled in your words
Bite your tongue and calm your mind
You’ll figure it out
And hey,
I’m here for you
Always.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,796 Reviews
Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.
I just sit there and don’t say anything to be honest
Italicized = My interpretation of the line
Bolded = Spelling mistake
Strikethrough = Remove
Underline = Add imagery/descriptive words
Spoiler
Silence is like music
Silence can be calming and refreshing.
It's a work of art
And that’s why I’m going to help you
And I know that’s not ideal
You run up the stairs
And you try to talk
But the sounds burry themselves in your throat
[Should be 'bury'.]
Sometimes you just have to sit there and breathe
Silence can be a better option than trying to communicate your feelings.
Don’t get tangled in your words
Bite your tongue and calm your mind
You’ll figure it out
And hey,
I’m here for you
Always.
Hi, nice poem.
Great start. I tell you. You are a good thinker. The way you wrote this poem is amazing. Your creativity shows us all, the more you work creatively the more you get success in writing.
The first line:
I just sit there and don’t say anything to be honest
I loved the way you started. I respect the feeling you shared. Being anonymous for someone is a great man's work. You showed it correctly. It is personal to read this stuff but nicely shared.
more you share your heart feelings the more you get close to success, all everyone wants to read another person's tragedies or something which makes us alike.
Remaining poem is as good as the starting.
Keep it up. Keep up the good work mate!!!!!!
Hello there, I m Kostia and I will give you a brief review for your poem.
I will start with the first three verses:
"I just sit there and don’t say anything to be honest
Silence is like music
It's a work of art"
First of all in the first verse "to be honest" I don't think it's necessary, I believe it' d look better if it was just "
"I just sit there and don’t say anything"
Secondly "Silence is like music" was a very strong contradiction although I m not sure I follow since those two are opposites. I m not sure what you were trying to say with that. Maybe you wanted to emphasize on the peace that accompanies silence which could be compared to the peace one feels when listening to music. If that's not the case then I don't really understand this verse. The work of art how ever was a nice addition you could focus more on that ant try to compare silence with a different form of art rather than music.
After that you re saying "And that’s why I’m going to help you" which I though was kind of irrelevant to the previous verses. What do you mean that's why? Because silence is art? It doesn't make any sense to me I think you should expand more on the reason why you re helping this person or yourself I m not sure who you are trying to address here.
After that I got a little confused. I can see what you are trying to say, that sometimes we have to focus on higher things than words in order to find our way and that one can learn a great deal from not talking and that moments of clarity are very often moments of silence.
However I wish you had expanded a bit more.
Keep it up!
Hey!
I liked this! It's quite comforting. First person poetry isn't something I come across often and it is often jarring to read but the overall conversational tone this is written in helps!
Just some things:
- The capitalisation is a little confusing without periods.
- Punctuation gives the reader clues as to how you want the poem to be read and paced so definitely use that to your advantage.
Nice format. I have a few thoughts.
-Your sentences are run-ons. You should make it more clear where sentences begin and stop.
-You should put either commas or periods at the end or each stanza.
-You did a good job at capitalizing the word at the beginning of each stanza.
It was a delightful read. Good job, EKK15.