The Moment

This was great! I loved the amount of adjectives and verbs used. You really manage to create the atmosphere. The subtle changing of tone is brilliant. The combination of emotions/feelings with the colours/canvas imagery worked very well. I liked the ending, the use of the verb "trek" really highlights the feeling of the narrator. Great job!

To be honest, I really can't find really anything wrong with this, spelling wise, except for one thing. In the first stanza, muzzled, should be muffled, but i don't think that's something you should sweat about.

Now as for the actual poem itself, I'm in LOVE with it! I love the words you chose to express the theme of the poem. As always, keep up the good work! I'll make sure to keep an eye on your profile and your stories in the future!

Hey! i don't have enough criticism for a full review, but i just wanted to let you know, i LOVE this! Your imagery is fantastically employed! Keep up the good work! My only suggestion is that in the first stanza you change "muzzled" to "muffled". Thanks for the delightful poem!

locked eyes trip on one another,
forward glances trap two specify what you mean by 'two' here
hanging long in the space bigger imagery here between them,
shuffled feet through the hallways,
muzzled muffled whispers back and forth,
a single light on a dark road,
headlights moving closer, closer, close.

glossy eyes, raised tones, and incoherent arguments-
soon to come but not before
long days followed byevery sunsets
that reaches it's hands across
the ever changing canvas of our lives,
ripping the colors right offof it-
bleak darkness, and tears of light
that seem just too out of reach,
but you try to grab them with your hands, yet you outstretch your hands
only to find you’re entirely alone in the emptiness. grasp at empty air.

a push, a shove, a grumble a whirlwind of sound,s
you trek onward past,
hoping one day you won’t
have the pleasure of meeting again.

• Dont be afraid to use imagery! You capture a brief glimpse into someone's mind as they pass someone they loved or think they like. But don't be afraid to go a little deeper.
• Since you are using commas, always remember that they can break up ideas, and use so accordingly.
• Use commas and phrases to make the poem flow just how you want it to be read x
• Overall, a wonderful little poem I feel will blossom with edits! Keep on writing and reworking, because it has a great charming structure right now that will only keep getting better!