tonight,
we lay silent, dead almost,
corpses and alone,
with our tongues burnt
from something too warm.
our bodies are empty,
no blood moving, no heart pumping
total relaxation,
entirely turned into silent stress.
we act out of spite and hatred,
because we don’t seem to care much
if at all.
the flames burn us out,
we’re tired from jumping over them
and the bottoms of our feet ache
from being fire kissed.
we’re so used to over feeling
being given fire within and around
jumping through our own tunnels
aching from our inborn flames,
was power, pure motivation.
a numbness,
for once,
we’re silent.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
Hey EKK15,
i read through your poem and i must admit, it left me in a dark room with no one to tell me what i was doing there. my point is, your usage of words is amazing and am trying to learn some poetry but if i will be this confused by the time i am done with a poem then i think i no longer want to learn poetry. please explain to me what the poem is about.
-tyoyo
Hi! So I wrote this when I had just gone through a very tough night, was emotionally drained, and felt down. I usually have passion and fire and angry running through me, it's why I write, but that night I was lying on the floor for hours, crying over the phone with my friend, unable to tell her what was wrong. The reason it's called low light was because the room was very poorly lit, and it just added to the idea of something wonderful draining from me. I felt isolated. Hope this helps!
after reading your reply, i went back to the poem and now i can feel or atleast try to feel what or how you felt, really strong stuff..
Dear EKK15,
Hey! I don't really have much to say about your poem, it's a really neat idea. I'm not sure if I completely know the underlying message, but you're the poet, and I have the idea that it means something more to you personally than it might to the reader (you've made a message based on your own experience?). Tell me if I'm wrong.
I enjoy how you wrote it. I would like to ask you what the general message of the poem is if there is one!
- Sal
Hi! I'm glad you liked it! I responded to the person above you with the message if you want to check that out. I hope it makes sense. It's a very personal moment so I expected a lot of questions.