June (2 separate pieces)

To have spent countless hours with you,

to know how you get

when you’ve had

too much conversation, interaction,

exhaustion.

You smelt like coffee

and a clean shower;

a hint of that shaving cream,

bright, masculine wood:

i will always be around

to hold your hand.

We counted the wheels

on the cars that drove by,

or at least I did

in the corners of my own eyes

everytime I looked at you,

you had a different grin.

That wild hair you tucked away

inside a baseball hat with

your name sewn on the back,

while we looked outside

and wished it would fucking rain.

Now I always see you smiling

can’t get that off my mind,

but I know you have someone

who holds you close at night.

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Hey June,

I’m not going to try to tell your story;

I’d never get it right.

But there’s a portion I know well enough,

nights and days spent trying to figure it all out,

life in general, maybe just one tiny speck of it.

Where do we fit in? 

Hey June,

you used to be May, maybe a bit of March

throw in the chills of December

and the blinks of a November eye.

You will always be June, a long summer day. 

Hey June,

last time I saw you

you smelt like coffee and shaving cream,

a bright masculine wood,

and your eyes looked like forests

on a foggy October night.

You have that grin that’s etched in my brain

the same way it stretches on your cheeks.

Hey June,

I guess I admire you,

the tenacious strides you take towards your future,

the way a warrior runs towards a bear.

I’d be the coward running away.

Hey June,

tonight wasn’t great,

between mutters and screams,

I learned how to swear under my breath,

I need you to remind me how to breathe.

Please June.  

Hey June,

I don’t have more to say.

I don’t know where to go.

I don’t know what I can do anymore.

I don’t know.

Hey June,

do you ever feel like

your being shoved in a box,

a little cardboard box, too small for your body

so you have to squeeze your eyes shut

and take the pain?

Hey June,

I gave up on things to wish upon,

like perfect skin and dazzling sunsets,

the perfect family and happily ever afters.

All I have now is my own hope,

and the bit you gave me.

I’ll always move forward

and I hope to be as strong as you.

Hey June,

it’s me and

I made it.