Have you ever felt the need to scream,
to cry and and just let it out,
To not take the knife,
And to make it move?
To tell a person that they are worth it,
when they say that they aren't.
You don't want to blow up on them,
And tell them that you need them to believe you?
The tears that you try to hide
leak from your eyes,
and you let out a sob,
because the words they said stung?
Do you even know what to do
when they dont listen to you?
do you keep quiet?
Or do you scream it out?
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Wow. This is a really good poem. It's very deep.
Thank you so much!!
Hi! Sophie here to review your piece!
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First stanza!- This is very filled with anger. it is a feeling that is bottling up inside and the reader wants to let it out. I am a bit confused on "To not take the knife, and to make it move?" I don't understand it very well? is it resistance? or a threat?
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Second Stanza!-This is filled with longing. the feeling change is so significant and important and you wrote it very well. It is very delicate but also so strong.
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Third Stanza!-This is sadness. goodness you've mastered this feeling thing. The tears part is very good and I know the feeling. I can remember it very well reading this. I like the question mark at the end of this where it is confusion.
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Fourth Stanza!-This stanza is a wrap-up. it is important to the poem. it is written well but it is a bit dry. the feelings are kind of missing
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overall-this flows so smoothly and the tempo is very consistent. I like the meaning in this and the feelings and imagery. the pain, longing, and the anger are all so clear! I love this! Good job and write on!
Thank you!!
Hi there @Bellarke I am here to do a review on your poem so lets get into it.
what I like most and what line I think fit with me best
okay I think that have done a good job on this really.
I think that this line stands out nicely for me I must say I feel like I want to do this all the time. so nice work on getting this on to the page.
I think that you hit me down to the best line that you could look for that is for me. I must say those are the lines for me.
helping you out a bit
all right there is some things that I notes ed that did not seem quite right.
Okay I am not really shore if the not belongs there our if it was just a mistake, but I do not really think that it goes in this line for it does not really make sens with the other line after this won. maybe take the not out, I will put this in suggestions for you.
Suggestions
1:To take a very sharp knife, So that is really all I can say this is a very good peas, keep it up. So keep the good work up to your best.
@EagleFly out to seek and kill
Thank you!!!