Colors

Okay one word, Wow. I loved the word choice, and the flow in the poem. "Seeing my wedding dress of red lace, and the shoes heavy as lead." I love these lines, and the imagery they give, absolutely beautiful. This poem was told in such a unique and beautiful way. Which Stanza flows so perfectly together it almost amazes me. Overall: Terrific job, and I hope to read more of your work.

Hey!

Thanks for asking for a few reviews! I think this piece is unique in it's execution, and i enjoyed reading it. I see you have a lot of reviews on this piece, so I don't think there is much I can say that'll be too different. The only two things I want to point out are, in stanza three, line three, the word bruised is misspelled. The second thing I want to point out is that each stanza talks about a different color except for the last two. They both talk about the color grey. If there any way one of the two stanzas could talk about a different color?

Keep up the great work, and if you ever need anything feel free to ask!
Rascalover

This was amazing. I loved it. This is exactly how a lot of people feel and you hit the spot. All I suggest is that you put how the person hurt you. Maybe like a cause and effect thing. First, list what that person did then you can put how you reacted to it. I dont want you to change any of it, but just in the can add some more stuff to it. Loved it, either way!!!!!

Oh. My. Goodness.
I’m rather speechless right now..this, this is so good.
I have a dad who is abusive (not usually physical) and that last part..just like..wow. Not gonna lie, definitely got teary eyed reading this.
It’s so powerful and incredibly well written. I’m always searching for words to put these feelings down and you just did it. So flawlessly. I can only hope to write like this one day. Thank you for sharing, this is one of my favorite pieces I’ve read in awhile.
Never stop writing.

Hey, it's Luke here!

It's been a long while since my last review, so this might be a little crappy, and I apologise if so. But, nonetheless...

I really love your semantic field of colour here, it's quite powerful in its usage. The narrative, of what i assume is an abusive relationship, is quite well put together. It gives its message, but perhaps not in the best way possible.

I feel you couldve explored with the semantic field a little more. Use more evocative language, more colourful language, you could say. Instead of just "grey" and "blue" etc, try taupe or periwinkle. Play with the senses a little more. Also, I assume you mean "bruised" and not "brised," but even so, then you have basically the same word twice in two lines. You have quite a short poem here, so it's better to vary your word usage. Perhaps "discoloured" would work better.

All in all, your poem is okay, but it didnt speak too much to me, which is a shame because it has such great potential. Hope this helped!

Keep writing,
Luke

I really liked this! There is definitely some room for improvement, but it's a great start. I love the title, and how you tied colors into each stanza. I would like to see the colors take on more meaning or connect more to the overall theme in some way.
I also think that you should spend more time on each stanza. This will give you a bigger opportunity to connect the colors to your themes and go into more detail.
"Looking at the brised section"- I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to say here.
In the last two stanzas, you're focusing on the same color. You may want to focus on another color in one of them, for the sake of consistency.
Once again, I'd like to see you go into more detail about each stanza, especially with the colors. Maybe work in some symbolism and metaphors within that.
It was a great poem, and I enjoyed reading it!

First of all, Good Morning!!! Great Job on this piece. I am in tears right now, and thought you should know that when you write, you move people.... I am living proof of that.I wish I could write as good as you do. I mean, this is Amazing!! I really liked how you described "bruises of yellow and black." The dress of red lace was also really cool. To make it more interesting, I would add some personification to your pieces to see them really come alive. I'm not saying it needs it to be good, I'm saying it might be really interesting to throw that in... Anyways... Happy Writings!!! Have a great day!! 'Tato out