Soul

I do like the general flow, and meaning of this poem. However "and not it is full of doubt." I feel like this is a little awkward, (if you read it outloud), try rephrasing it a little differently. I do like the last sentence, I feel like it wraps it up in a nice little bow. I happen to love the line "With many differing labels," I feel like that line flows quite nicely with the rest. Anyway, a great poem, keep on writing.

Hey Bellarke!

I have a few pointers.

Firstly, "because I an now done". This sentence has the word "an" in it, is it meant to be "am" (because I am now done)?

Secondly, "Or me this is the end". I feel like the "Or" is supposed to be "For" (For me this is the end).

Overall, the poem was great and I really enjoyed it!

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

Congrats on being on the homepage

Hi there!

To start off I'd like to say that I enjoyed the majority of this poem, though there were a few minor details I would change, these are all suggestions, so don't feel obligated to take things into consideration.

My first critique applies to your rhyme scheme, though sometimes rhymes can enhance a poem, here I feel like it distracted from the deeper meaning a bit. Your message was really powerful, but I was distracted by the rhymes, some of them seemed a bit forced, and it took away from the flow of the poem.

My second point being something very minor, In the line "Because I an now done," did you mean "am" instead of "an," if so, maybe look at altering this in order to enhance the overall flow of the poem.

I apologize if I caused you offence in anyway, I did enjoy this poem.
-BooksCatsAndTea

Hi there!

To start off I'd like to say that I enjoyed the majority of this poem, though there were a few minor details I would change, these are all suggestions, so don't feel obligated to take things into consideration.

My first critique applies to your rhyme scheme, though sometimes rhymes can enhance a poem, here I feel like it distracted from the deeper meaning a bit. Your message was really powerful, but I was distracted by the rhymes, some of them seemed a bit forced, and it took away from the flow of the poem.

My second point being something very minor, In the line "Because I an now done," did you mean "am" instead of "an," if so, maybe look at altering this in order to enhance the overall flow of the poem.

I apologize if I caused you offence in anyway, I did enjoy this poem.
-BooksCatsAndTea

Hi there!

To start off I'd like to say that I enjoyed the majority of this poem, though there were a few minor details I would change, these are all suggestions, so don't feel obligated to take things into consideration.

My first critique applies to your rhyme scheme, though sometimes rhymes can enhance a poem, here I feel like it distracted from the deeper meaning a bit. Your message was really powerful, but I was distracted by the rhymes, some of them seemed a bit forced, and it took away from the flow of the poem.

My second point being something very minor, In the line "Because I an now done," did you mean "am" instead of "an," if so, maybe look at altering this in order to enhance the overall flow of the poem.

I apologize if I caused you offence in anyway, I did enjoy this poem.
-BooksCatsAndTea

Hey, Luke here for a review!

So, disclaimer, I’m going to be brutally honest in this review. If I offend you, I apologise. This was by no means your best work. To be perfectly honest, it’s actually quite bad. I can’t say that I enjoyed reading it. There are parts that hold potential, definitely, such as the theme itself, and the idea of the black hole. That’s a very powerful image, so play that to your advantage and explore this image further.

Largely, the poem was very difficult to read. It seemed to be rushed, and so contains a heck of a lot of spelling and grammatical errors. So just go back and amend those. It’s always very important to proofread your work. Also, your rhyme scheme here was awful. You forced rhymes together, and it did not in any way contribute to the poem, so if I were you I’d scrap it completely. The tone is almost too serious to rhyme. Moreover, rhyme needs rhythm to work, and the poem lacked a consistent rhythm. Some lines had way more syllables than others, so it just really didn’t work.

In conclusion, the poem just needed a lot more refinement in order to become a decent piece. Sorry again if I’ve caused you any offence.

Keep writing,
Luke

GOOD WORK! I love the rhyme in your poem. My favorite part was...
I am a lost soul
In a work of angels
It is like a never ending black hole,
With many differing labels.


The poem was very beautiful and you constructed your feeling into the poem wonderfully. In the end, I’m not sure if it is a typo it it says
Or me this is the end.
Just make sure to reread what you wrote for better results next time. Other than that, I loved this!!!!!!!!! 👌👍

GOOD WORK! I love the rhyme in your poem. My favorite part was...
I am a lost soul
In a work of angels
It is like a never ending black hole,
With many differing labels.


The poem was very beautiful and you constructed your feeling into the poem wonderfully. In the end, I’m not sure if it is a typo it it says
Or me this is the end.
Just make sure to reread what you wrote for better results next time. Other than that, I loved this!!!!!!!!! 👌👍