Young Writers Society

This poem is amazing. It's so good. It expresses many feelings that people may get By relationship. This is a piece of art.

All the lies you say,

is pushing me away.

When you set this line it make me sad a bit, and that's totally what you have to have in a good poem, feelings. Awesome job.

I can see it in your eyes

and it makes me want to yell.

You tell me you don't

but I can see that you do.

This part was my favorite part good job.

Hii @Bellarke, sweta here....i hope you are fine and have a good day too....

I liked it and it is so true. It fit the reality of how we ignored and listen to what we want to hear even if we know the truth behind it... You wrote it in rhythm and it is really good. Your express it pretty well. So good job and great work... Keep writing... And stay bless

Hi @Bellarke!

This is Liberty500 dropping off a review for you! Okay, so let's dig right into it (does that make sense? I don't know, but whatever.).

This is a great poem, and I love how you made it so lyrical and rhyme-ie. It's so hard for me to get the right rhymes all the time, maybe you can lend me a few of your tips and secrets? Anyways, all your spelling was great, and I noticed one thing in your grammar. In the lines:

"You say that I don't trust you,

when I question what you meant."

you used present tense for 'say' and 'question' but then when it gets to the last word, you used past tense. That kinda made me go back and read it again so my brain could digest what you wrote. Either you write with past tense or present tense. So like this:

"You say that I don't trust you,

when I question what you mean."

or like this:

"You said I don't trust you,

when I questioned what you meant."

So yeah. But the thing is... Do tenses even MATTER in poems? I don't know, just pointing it out. And, another thing I saw was that, in this line:

"because you say i start the argument."

you didn't capitalize the 'i'. Anyhoo, you did really well with this poem, you expressed your emotions really really properly. (Something I have trouble with.)

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500

Hi there!
So, this is an interesting poem! It is true for a lot of people, sadly. I'm sorry you are going through this, feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!
Now for the review.
There are a few sentences that need editing, some of the stanzas are a little awkward to read.
First one:
"You tell my you don't" I know this is just a small typo, but it still makes things awkward.

Second:
"You just won't

tell me what you knew.

You push it way

telling me you love me."

In my mind, "knew" should be "know." That is just me though, I think it would flow better that way.

"You push it way.."

Did you mean Away?

That was all, keep up the good work!

It doesn't suck! It's good!