wait wait wait--BREAK IT DOWN!
i have an eye for the dead, a mind for the skeletons
i'm an albatross - NO WAIT - I'm a pelican
a pelican that soars through the bones
and sometimes mistakes fishes for stones
gaping my mouth i devour the dust
and yet I'm devout, no room for lust
i laugh like a hyena and dance like a chimp
as i obey the voices in my head like an imp
rhymes so crap, I'mma make you cringe
hate myself so much i'm gonna binge
got my pinky pinched by a door-hinge
people on the block know me as 'poor Jim'
i wanted to be like the dead - silent and still
but right now I just need to pay my bills
my bills that lie stacked up so very high
these days I'm worried they might touch the sky
or crush me while i'm dreaming
i just want a life that's gleaming
my bestie won't stop screaming
THE END
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138,709 Literary Works • 672,250 Reviews
*Slides in* Hello! Let's get right into this review!
When I saw the title, I had to read it. It sort of called to me. Maybe it's because I never take anything seriously.
Not gonna lie, this was hilarious. Not often do I see a poem with humorous purposes! This was sort of a fresh breath of air because I normally review serious, depressing poems. Not anything wrong with them, though!
I did notice one thing, you rhymed in some parts of the poems, and in some parts, you did not. I don't know if that was intentional because this is a humorous poem, but I just wanted to point it out.
Anyways, I don't have much else to say, but amazing job, still laughing!
*Slides away*
Hi,
I am still laughing. Nice humoristic poem. I loved the starting of the poem. The way you took it high. The length of the poem is good. Although length doesn't matter but I counted. You used vocabulary in god sense. I loved the lines you picked. Those lines were good. I sensed while reading that you felt this poem very well. I loved it while reading. What a good piece of work.
I hope to read further. Keep writing.
lol thanks don't forget to leave a like XD