Such a splendid thing
That withstands time,
And lifts the hearts of many.
Such an enormous blessing
That makes me want to sing
And breaks all sufferings.
Such a mystery
That cannot be solved
And can never be explained.
And, oh, such a pleasure
It is to spend my time with
And just revel in its majesty.
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Canary word: Present
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Hello, Keepwriting!
This is Moonwatcher here for a review. So this is your first free verse poem! That's exciting. Free-verse poems are my favorite, and I love the fact that they have no boundaries. In fact, it's the only kind of poetry I can pull off. But enough about me, let's get on with the review. Emotion poems are very hard to pull off, because you need to find your inner passion, the way you feel. If I am one-hundred percent honest, that's something that got to me as I read this poem. It just feels bland. I don't sense the passion and inner emotion you put into the poem. Maybe if you described personal experience in a stronger way, readers can sense the true emotion. My best tip: Do it in a manner that your readers can relate to. With free-verse poems, there isn't much to dig into, with the whole no-limits-at-all thing. So I think that's all that I'll cover. You did well, and as your username suggests, keep on writing!
Thanks I'll keep that in mind! Don't forget to click the "like" button up top.
HEY.... you wrote well. i wish to see more expressive words and a bit of details too. it is a beautiful piece of work but looks incomplete. hope you are getting what am trying to say, please don't take me wrong but i feel is that one should be more descriptive while writing to give reader a perfect picture of each word with its meaning. i again apologize if you felt sad or upset by my words but just wanna say that it's just an advice from my side to you. i wish to see more work from you. keep writing such positive emotions to spread happiness.
thanks
Thanks if you liked it remember to click the "like" button up top.
I really enjoyed the way you conveyed your message and overall how you wrote your poem. I could feel the emotion; you conveyed it beautifully. I commend you on your writing, it had a very smooth flow to it, and urge you to continue practicing.
Thanks for sharing your work!
Thanks, I'm glad my first attempt was a good one. Don't forget to click the 'like' button or star up top if you enjoyed it.
This poem was very interesting. I liked the execution, but I felt that some parts could flow a little better, especially that second stanza. Maybe,
"That makes me sing
And breaks all of my suff'rings"?
Imao
You don't have to do that, but I just think it would sound a little better. The overall meaning was great, and I enjoyed this poem.
Thanks!
~Joelsweet
Thanks.
Don't forget to click the 'like' button or star up top.