Dear, Mortals: Devil's Love

Having someone to relate to, or to mentally "see", in any work is vital, as it grabs the reader anchoring him into a place which he can view the work, be it a poem or a narrative work of fiction. And I think this was the downfall of the poem in the end, it just left an empty pit where I couldn't quite place my eyes as a reader in.

Excluding this, the rest of the poem is really good, the use of imagery, the atmosphere, and the tone is consistent and very well executed.

Nothing else to say. Salutations!

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review!

I admit that I haven't read an abundance of other poetry that's come from you, though I may as well delve right in by saying that I enjoyed the sort of minimalist approach here. Something I wanted to touch on first is the capitalization, which is in a style that I'm not particularly fond of. All the same, it's a stylistic choice that's yours to make, though I just wanted to note that I believe this would be more effective if it weren't that way. A small personal preference.

Delving further into the actual content of the work, I'm unsure of who exactly this poem is following. That's something that I suggest clarifying. Something else relating to who this is following is that we don't know who the girl is in this poem or her relations to the Devil. Clarity is key here since it seems that you're attempting to get some sort of message across even if the reader doesn't exactly interpret it in that way.

Wavering levels of pain,

Counting down streaks of red,

She chose the thicker, hotter chain

To numb the heartbreak instead.

Hello, hello, gxldencrxwns here for a review.

Despite the short length of the poem, it told quite a lot, not gonna lie! I'm getting a vibe that that female described in this poem was in a abusive relationship and after she broke it off, she became sort of a toy to males, only being there for short amounts of time. I have to thank the last line for that theory, but I could be wrong.

Every mistake, punctuation and such, was pointed out from the last reviewer and you fixed it. So I really have much else to say, except amazing work!

~gxldencrxwns

Hi! So your poem is pretty short, but it tells so much! I especially love the last line, "For flesh is but a meal to claim". It's extremely powerful.

The first thing I'd say about this is that you should try putting the fifth line as the start of a second stanza. I feel like the fifth line is the beginning of a new idea, and the last rhyme of line four seems like an ending.

The second is pretty minor, just add a comma after "thicker" in "thicker hotter chain".

The last thing is that I feel like "wavering" isn't the right verb in "wavering the levels of pain". From what I gather, it's supposed to give a similar meaning as you give to "counting" in the next line. It also just seems a bit out of place when you say "wavering the". Just saying "wavering levels" might make more sense, but it's a different meaning than I think you want. Although, I might be misinterpreting this line.

I hope this review was helpful!