Days and days pass me by
As I stare into the deep blue sky.
People wonder why I wait,
And show to me such proud hate;
But the wind blows across my face
Reminding me of your embrace.
The only one for me is you
So to you I'll stay forever true;
Watching and waiting for your return,
While my hopes begin to burn.
Why do people break my only will—
To wait for you and love you still.
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
I love the basic idea of the poem. However, I feel like you could turn this into something so expansive and detailed. I love the conciseness and how straight to the point that you are, but at the same time I think you should attempt to expand on this. I feel like you could describe how your love was, why it ended so tragically, what about him made you love him. I love your poetry honestly, and every one of them seems to be a very short and brief story about something on your mind. I just personally would love to see you expand on a poem or two. You are fantastic, however. Keep up the great work! I hope to read more from you soon.
To continue, the idea of love in the poem is really relatable. People going through recent break-ups, or loss of loved ones completely understand the poem.
I guess my thoughts are kind of brief. Maybe I can elaborate more in the future. Thanks for the feed back! And don't forget to click the like button.
Insightful, descriptive writing in a beautiful, calm manner.
Hello I am here to review your poem. I must say you described waiting for love in a very beautiful manner. Love is a great feeling to express and write about, I just want to say that try to write and express your feelings through words a bit more. I completely loved your poem but your work would become best if you look upon my tip and work a little on it. Keep writing and giving everyone a chance to read and review your work. Sorry for a short review. I hope my comment was of any use to you. No offences please.
Urvika
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Hello I am here to review your poem. I must say you described waiting for love in a very beautiful manner. Love is a great feeling to express and write about, I just want to say that try to write and express your feelings through words a bit more. I completely loved your poem but your work would become best if you look upon my tip and work a little on it. Keep writing and giving everyone a chance to read and review your work. Sorry for a short review. I hope my comment was of any use to you. No offences please.
Urvika
The rhyme is so sweet and smooth, perfectly put in the work and it did not felt forced at all.
I love the feelings put into this work, even if I found that in some places you need a fullstop or comma, but this did not ruin the work so much.
I am sure this is pretty relatable. At least some of us had felt this way while waiting for someone special to come back to them and stay. Sweet and emotional, even if I could feel the sad hint, also.
Good job.
Thank you. Don't forget to click the "like" button. <3
This work deserves the like! XD
I'm flattered. *blushes*
Blushing makes *cough* you look even cuter *cough*
*blushes again*
Do not blush!
I feel kind of... nervous.
Hello there, how are you?
Okay, let's get started!
The feelings were all too real in this.Honestly, I don't want to seem rude to the reviewers before me, but I don't feel as though you needed symbols/imagery/etc. Being real helps the reader feel the feelings. There is no reason to cover it with "fluff". And you didn't. Which I love.
Anyway, I love this. Because I know this feeling all too well. I'm still waiting for a certain someone, and people pushed me away from her or tried to. It hurts still. I still feel the hurt as I wait.But I continue. So I relate to the narrator. They have such a strong will to continue waiting .
Overall this subject was well written. Like I said, you did not put "fluff" on it . And I like the format of this. Um, I have nothing else to add. So have a great day, and continue writing!
Thanks, that means a lot to me. Don't forget to click the "like" button. Stay blessed. <3
Hi. First off I love this! I can totally feel the pain the main character is going through. I love your writing style, it's very strong and descriptive (like I said, I feel like I could feel her pain). I think this is a common theme, that everyone goes through, losing someone and the pain of the aftermath. I like how determined you made the main character. Even with people around her nothing will break her will powerful to see him again.
Overall, I thought this was wonderfully written!
Aww, thank you. Don't forget to click the "like" button up top. <3
Hey, Annie here for a review.
This was so sad! I can feel the narrator's hope that some day she will once again see her love but at the same time the sadness that her love isn't there. The longing to see him again comes across really strong in this, and I like that.
One thing I think could have made this better is if you used a bit more imagery or symbolism. Instead of stating everything outright, mask it with symbols, similes, and metaphors. Also, you could mix up the simple ABAB rhyme scheme to something a bit more complex, or go free verse.
A suggestion for future poems you may write, the format of a sonnet combined with good imagery and other poetic devices (alliteration, assonance, consonance, etc.) really make for a beautiful and romantic poem.
Great work on this, and keep writing!
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Hey this is AshleyDashley,
That was deep, it touched my heart! Your poem was really good and I felt their pain in missing them and their love for them too. Although the lines:
"People wonder why I wait,
And show to me such proud hate"
I really don't understand what you mean my proud hate. Overall you did a great job and it was such a beautiful poem. It made me want to cry and the visual was very good. The flow from one line to the next was incredible. You did a very good job! Keep writing and I hope to read more of your writing in the future! Keep it up and once again great job on this poem Keepwriting!
Aww, this means a lot to me, thank you. Don't forget to click the "like" button up top. <3