A/N: I know it's no longer Mother's Day, but I still wanted to share the poem I wrote for my mother.
As a babe you held me to your breast,
And rocked me till I fell asleep.
You watched me grow up like the rest,
As I learned to walk, run, and leap.
Everytime I felt bad or became ill,
You were there to care for me.
I was a naughty little girl but still
You always accepted my apologies.
You taught me how to be a lady,
And say "thank you" and "please"
And I hope that for my sake one day,
You'll teach me your expertise.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Hi, Becca here for a review.
This is a very sweet poem for one's mom, especially with Mother's Day.
I think the rhyme scheme was a bit awkward at times, but ultimately I thought it worked more than not. I thought you did a really great job describing the narrative of your development and provided examples of how your mother was great at each step of the way with specifics.
I think this poem could be even stronger if you used examples that are unique to only you and your mom. Do you have any inside jokes perhaps? I think this poem could also use some imagery or sensory details. What does she look like, smell like? What does she sound like, what does she feel like? Maybe some foods she makes or like or some places you've been to could be added to the piece to make it more personal.
These are obviously just suggestions and it's up to you. Hope to read more of your writing!
Thanks!
I love this poem, this poem is awesome and really sexy
Wow! This poem is really, really beautiful. I just love the way you have expressed yourself from when you were a toddler to now.
I can only envy your writing skill. You have a powerful voice - so use it more and more often!
Only negative remark I can make is this - you have already mentioned that your mother taught you how to be a lady, so I feel that there is no point in saying you wish that she can reach you your expertise.
But still, remember that I love this poem! I'm hope you made your mom smile with happiness!!
Actually, I am sure she did.
Thanks for your review! "And I hope that for my sake one day,
I'm glad you liked it. Don't forget to click the like button up top. 
You'll teach me your expertise." Is referring to her teaching me to be a mother like her.
Haha, sure