Blue Memories

Hi,
Umm, RubyRed may I asked who are you before you became RubyRed? Weird question anyway, lol. SO everyone likes a good poem, and so is me. I like this poem with its simple structure and message. Although a little bit disagree on why you italicized the whole poem, this poem delivers its message clear, but I disagree with this kind of poem style.

Still, the italicization makes me wanting to vomit.

All my memories fade to blue,

Okay, this is the first line of your poem and you failed to impress me. I think there is a grammar error there at "fade to blue". Shouldn't it be "fade into blue"?. I am not an expert in grammar mechanic, so just consider that as opinion not fact. And I don't like the blunt style of saying "all my memories" because it just doesn't appeal. I know that through this line, maybe you're telling that the whole world of whoever he/she is now turning into a sad and grief period, and yet, using "all" is quite brave of you. I just consider finding a more creative word.

All my memories fade to blue,

When I stop to think of you.

Through this second line, we know that the he/she is missing someone and cannot stop thinking about it and feel sad. That is it. Don't you think you could write something more meaningful with that two line. I recommend using a creative approach because in a poem especially in a short poem like this, you should really aware that everything is limited and you should max out the content in this. Don't spin more than two stanzas just to notice us that the persona is sad because when you state you are sad, and that is it. In this case you repeat the same thing but in another form, but still the meaning is not diverse.

The tears flow down my cheeks so pale,

And trace the pains down its trail--

A trail of feelings... bittersweet,

Where all the heavy heartaches meet.

Okay, I'm getting a picture that whoever that person is, they must be in a very miserable condition. I'm getting the image you know, but then, it just doesn't bold. The image is somewhat blurred. Instead of spurting what is in inside, I really want to see what is the outside too or it will be just a random person who is sad. Well, bittersweet is one of my favorite word. XD And talking about heartaches, that is so painful you know. I had one just last week. I can imagine it. lol.

Yet in the pain a love grows,

That every bonny soul knows.

For to conqueror all the sorrows,

Is what I need for tomorrow.

I scroll down and I get what bonny means, so don't explain to me. XD, First impression, I thought bonny means something that related to bones and skeleton and stuff like that, but never mind, a unique word choice of course. Yeah, the poem ends in a hopeful way that hope is another day. A bad day isn't a bad life. I understand in the pain a love grows, but though please #elaborate on that please. Show an example of how a love grows in the pain.

When I reread back my review... sorry for not giving you praises. So the thing I am in for this poem is, it is a delightful simple poem... maybe enough to make someone's day because nowadays people are depressed--a lot of them because of love. Not that lot, but I was one and the thing that makes me better was writing poem something like this to express myself because I don't many friends that I can go to.

Sorry for ranting.

All in all, nice try. Keep writing. Make the poem meaningful because each poem is living dynamically, so you should keep improving it, testing it, trying to make it grow into a wonderful poem.

XOXO
~Memo