When You Depart

by RubyRed

Published April 18, 2016

E - Everyone

In Poetry

Watch as the willow dances in the wind,

And the clouds open in the endless sky.

Listen to birds singing in the afternoon,

As they hop from tree to tree and fly by.

Feel the balmy sun beat upon your back

While you follow the course of the wind.

Relax and breathe in the fresh spring air,

And clear vile thoughts from your mind.

Speak of the beautiful places you've been;

Hold dear memories close to your heart;

Open your wings to soar above the world;

And with the King of kings joyfully depart.

Comments & reviews · 4
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99coffeebeans Review
99coffeebeans wrote a review Review · Apr 24, 2016

Hey there, Keepwriting!
I think your poem does a fantastic job capturing the "bright side" of death, ironically. It's cool how your poem isn't overly religious, even though not all religions believe in heaven and whatnot. The picture and your words correspond really well, and for me it set the mood right away. Honestly, your poem could be the lyrics of a song! I'm exploring this society of young writers and was curious what poems went in the 'spiritual' category, and I was lucky to come across yours first. Planning to give a few others a try.
Beautiful poem, loved it, be true to your name and keep writing!

Thank you. That means a lot to me. Don't forget to click the star or "like" button up top. (:

DivergentDemigod wrote a review Review · Apr 20, 2016

hey keep!

:) beautiful! this piece of your work was really beautiful! i loved it (just like any other work of yours) the way you framed the poem was remarkable! your word choice is also quite good...
and the picture up there is just like the cherry on top of the cake!

everything was good about it and personally there isn't a single thing that i would like to change about it... so yeah great job there! :)

the one and only!
FD46~

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Soulfulwriter
Review
Soulfulwriter wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2016

Hey, tis Soulful giving a review and personal opinion.

P.O. first: I often think about what happens to us when we depart or when loved ones depart. I remember a debate once. It was so depressing. One side said we just rot in the ground, I am like that can't be it. The other side said we are reborn or are angels. I kind of agree with that. It gives me something to think about, other than just rotting in the ground, you know what I mean?

Review: I felt like this is a deep poem that gets the blood pumping to the brain and that question that no one can really answer. Though, we do depart there are memories. I love the poem.

Thanks so much. :D

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TribeofArt
Review
TribeofArt wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2016

Hey it's my first time well doing a proper review lol but still hope that i can be of some help. Soo let's start!

"Watch as the willow dances in the wind,"

I like where this is going it gives a soothing feeling. I'll skip the parts that i love hehe.


"As they hop from tree to tree and fly by."

This one was a bit hard to imagine. Hop from tree to tree and fly by, the two actions doesn't really make a picture together.

"Feel the balmy sun beat upon your back

While you follow the course of the wind."

This one was really beautiful it gives a calming effect.

"Hold dear memories close to your heart;

Open your wings to soar above the world;

And with the King of kings joyfully depart."

I really like the last three lines it is very meaningful and beautiful at the same time. It makes me think of freedom and adventure. Overall this is really good. The title perfectly describes the main content of it too. I hope you write more inspirational literature like this keep it up!

Awww, danke. Don't forget to click the "like" button. <3



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