i am don.

Hello!

Okay I LOVE this poem omg. I literally spit water out all over the computer I was laughing so hard. I really don't have anything negative to say about it. This was truly amazing. It flowed, the bold and italics made it easy to differentiate between who was speaking, or the point of view, and I really loved that I could relate to this, because I find myself having similar conversations with my own parents.

Keep up the good work!
~findingmyway

hey!

this poem is good and while reading i reminded my childhood days when i call myself don after watching amitabh bachan's (famous actor in bollywood) movie. i sensed same after reading the entire piece. what a rhythm you have in your poem, fantastic! i loved it from beginning till the end. it's a great work i have ever read since i joined YWS.

SO KEEP IT UP AS HIGH AS YOU CAN!

GREAT JOB! CONGO!

Isn't the topic from the Hindi song "me hu don?"

I don't get it...like, at all. But I dig. Buen Trabajo!

Cardinal CesareBorgia here for a review.

This story was so funny. It made me laugh out loud. xD. You really know how to write funny stuff.

Now for the review. ughh.

No nitpicks because poetry is supposed to be grammatically incorrect. That means that this will be a short review.

One: SHUT UP MOM!
I'M TRYING TO BE POETIC!
I WANT TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE,
NOT TO BE PATHETIC!

This line was the one that made me laugh the most. It reminds me of when my mom always calls me when I'm doing something.

MOM YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

I thougt that this was a great way to show that parents really don't understand

I'm done with the review. Now the conclusion.

Conclusion: All in all, great poem. It was hilarious and made me laugh out loud.

Keep writing!

That's me and my mom right there... but only sometimes. Hee hee, very funny! *golf applause, serious face*................ *cracks up* Sorry, couldn't keep that up for long. *raucous applause* Another strange and wonderful poem by strange. Strangeness and Charm.... that's one of my favorite songs. You should look it up... It could be your theme song! : P

the inner built in frustration in this poem is really all that entices me with this poem. i understand as a youth we have all this boredom that is constantly sheltered by the need to go along with the daily lives we lead, but i'm not sure this is really satire. although you complain about not being understood or whatever seems to be the problem, you don't seem to incorporate enough wit or sarcastic angle to really make it fully satirical.
however,
"I'm trying to be poetic"
is an interesting line where you come closer to grasping the satirical aspect and that made me chuckle as it silently attacks the people that only live the way they do so they can photograph it and post it on the internet.

Ahhahahahah Nice try (y)

You. You are very strange. And creative.
I can't really give you an in-depth review right now, but I just popped by to say that this was very funny, and to keep up the great work!

I am Don. *cracks up laughing*

What?
Uh...the last line made me laugh out loud. Overall, the poem is amusing. It sounds just like what I rant about all day (don't we all?).

But anyway, despite what I seem to be saying, this poem makes good sense. It's a blatantly sarcastic commentary on life. My only suggestion, as previous reviewers have stated, is to remove the bolding - just keep the caps. You'll have emphasis then, but not too much.

What I love most are the voices of your characters, like how you used perfect grammar for Dan's mom vs. choppy sentences and no caps for Don himself. Well done.

Okay, okay...Hi Strange, Tulip here to give you a review, on this lovely night/day- take your chose on which one from wherever you are (Well it's technically a lovely night as it is 7:45 p.m. at the moment I am writing this review.).

So, I am a little thrown off the use of BOLD CAPS LOCKED words. Note the effect it had on the preceding sentence and the review as a whole. It stands out way to much. If that was your intended effect, you mastered it. I would consider, not making it bold and in all caps. Make a separate stanza for his response, and then continue on with the poem. It will make it better.

Other than that, it was an interesting poem to read. Maybe we are all confused on who we are, and what we are doing in life is a mystery..and sometimes we will never truly figure it out.

The very moment I started reading, I realized that I put a rythm to it subconsciously!this would be a very good song plently of humor.The feeling of it very joyful and entertaining, maybe a tad sarcastic as well?(correct me on that one, in case I got it wrong)
That Don guy is easy going, poetic and funny, the type of person I would like to hung out with.Your poem/song(according to my point of view) is really catchy, I can imagine myself murmuring it during the day, and that my friend is a success

Maybe this could have worked better as a lyric to song? I wouldn't exactly see this as a poem. But who knows? Maybe you have hidden song writing talents? Try it! Maybe try reading it aloud whilst playing a guitar. Or just make up a melody in your mind whilst saying the words? I thought the sentence moods were too declarative and exclamative. Maybe you could tone the shouting down a bit? And the bold fonts were confusing