Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Historical Fiction


Making Words Rhyme Within A Pattern Is Called A Poem, Even When It's Out Of Context And Has A Ridiculously Long Title

by Willard


A/N: HAR HAR STRANGE YOU COMEDIC GENIUS-Some reviewer who hates this poem and has a blatant sense of sarcasm. I understand that this poem is bad, and is intended. ;)

Wear a,
Lampshade. 
Tear off a,
Band aid.

Attempt to be,
Poetic.
Eventually being,
Pathetic.

Always,
Rhyme.
Never having the,
Effort to.

Poetic.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
113 Reviews


Points: 181
Reviews: 113

Donate
Thu Feb 15, 2018 7:26 pm
Bellarke says...



I love how you said that it is intended to be a bad poem. This is hilarious, and I gues I am one of those "reviewer who hates this poem and has a blatant sense of sarcasm" Only i love it!!




User avatar
55 Reviews


Points: 4517
Reviews: 55

Donate
Tue Jul 25, 2017 11:21 am
DarshayataDeka wrote a review...



I was going across the works in the past literary spotlight section and came across this poem. First of all, it is 100 percent true. Second, it is so humorous. Third, it is unique. Fourth, it is sarcastic. Fifth, it is ironic (writing about a poem through a poem, huh). Sixth, it has an awesome title. Seventh, no grammar mistakes. And last of all, I LOVED IT.




User avatar
9 Reviews


Points: 40
Reviews: 9

Donate
Tue Jul 26, 2016 10:18 pm
mungerverna wrote a review...



Okay, a little bit of pretext here.
I was looking through the featured works on the homepage, and I saw how long the title of this piece is. At first I was utterly disgusted (no title needs to be that long, after all; it's actually quite off-putting). And then I read it. I didn't hesitate in giving it a read after that.
This poem isn't good - at least, not in the traditional sense. But it's fantastic. Well done.




Willard says...


.....okay?



User avatar
95 Reviews


Points: 4906
Reviews: 95

Donate
Mon Jul 25, 2016 12:54 pm
Gymnast2801 wrote a review...



Hello Srange! Gymnast2801 here with a review!

Hahahaha! I love this 'poem'! I have never been able to write a poem and this gets pretty much everything! Love it!
I have nothing to courtiqu you on because it's not supposed to rhym, all words are spelled properly, and I feel like the words you use are quite satisfying.

Wonderful job with this and keep writing!




User avatar
47 Reviews


Points: 1621
Reviews: 47

Donate
Tue May 26, 2015 12:39 pm
Firepower13 says...



Nice! I especially like the rhyming of 'poetic' and 'pathetic'. Not much else to review, but it was hilarious.




User avatar
305 Reviews


Points: 831
Reviews: 305

Donate
Mon May 25, 2015 10:14 pm
speakerskat says...



Hahahahaha what Xd it made a little sense then in the last stanza it was like , no .

I love it >.<




User avatar
38 Reviews


Points: 194
Reviews: 38

Donate
Mon May 25, 2015 3:18 pm
Ashkitten83 says...



Ah whats in a poem? :) genius




User avatar
61 Reviews


Points: 1538
Reviews: 61

Donate
Mon May 25, 2015 5:58 am
View Likes
Jadefox wrote a review...



Mwahaha. I enjoyed it.

In my college English class, we were attempting to define the boundaries of what "qualifies" as a poem. Your satirical tone throughout this "poem," (I simply use quotes because it's a satire of poetry; no malice intended), ties the explanatory title and stanzas together. In reference to a few of the reviews left down below, I would like to clarify why stanza three is significant in my perspective.

The previous stanzas imitate the typical rhyming pattern of a stereotypical poem. The third stanza, however, breaks that pattern.

"Always,
Rhyme.
Never having the,
Effort to.

Poetic."

I find this to be the most comical twist of the entire poem, in the ironic sense. As I read through the reviews below, it seemed many were confused about the format of this stanza. They suggested you to change or reformat it because it ends in an awkward phrase. I say, leave it as is!

For those who didn't understand the last stanza, here is what I took away from it:

The stanza begins with "Always, Rhyme," but does not in itself rhyme. Irony! Gotta love it! The last phrase: "Never having the, Effort to. Poetic." I personally read that in a lazy-tone. I read it as if the narrator wasn't motivation to rhyme anymore and ends with a snort: "poetic."

Again, this is how I interpreted it. I don't know if that's how you intended it to be, but reader's perception + poetry. Yay.

I would like to leave you with one last praise: I haven't reviewed anything in awhile. Not much has caught my eye lately, but yours definitely has. I also felt like that last stanza deserved justice for how much weight it carries in your poem, at least to me.

Keep up the good work and let me know if you ever want me to take a look at anything in the future.

-Jade




Willard says...


It's been ten months since I've had this bout of insomnia and you are the first reviewer to understand the third stanza. Ten months. This review made my day. Thank you!



Jadefox says...


I'm glad I could help! Maybe the insomnia was for the better last night...hopefully you get more rest now! @Strange



User avatar
79 Reviews


Points: 3665
Reviews: 79

Donate
Sun May 24, 2015 8:06 pm



I can't really review this since it's so short, but I really liked this. :)




User avatar
475 Reviews


Points: 1461
Reviews: 475

Donate
Sun May 24, 2015 7:21 am
View Likes
Apricity says...



<3




User avatar
557 Reviews


Points: 2394
Reviews: 557

Donate
Sat May 23, 2015 4:16 pm
erilea says...



Wow, Strange. I have to tell you, this was the best poem I've seen since mine. :D
Good job! I honestly have nothing to critique since this was intentionally pathetic (at least I think so) so I'll just say this was great. Love the title!




User avatar
557 Reviews


Points: 2394
Reviews: 557

Donate
Sat May 23, 2015 4:15 pm
erilea says...



Wow, Strange. I have to tell you, this was the best poem I've seen since mine. :D
Good job! I honestly have nothing to critique since this was intentionally pathetic (at least I think so) so I'll just say this was great. Love the title!




User avatar
22 Reviews


Points: 552
Reviews: 22

Donate
Sun Jul 06, 2014 5:31 pm
Kendastic says...



I thought this was funny. A poem has never made me laugh before. The title makes it about ten times better.




User avatar
159 Reviews


Points: 7867
Reviews: 159

Donate
Fri Jul 04, 2014 4:54 am
GreenLight24 says...



Hahahaha historical fiction! :D




User avatar
396 Reviews


Points: 27
Reviews: 396

Donate
Thu Jul 03, 2014 7:33 pm
View Likes
Pompadour says...



When it's in chat, it's history.

See what I did there, eh, eh?




User avatar
331 Reviews


Points: 10565
Reviews: 331

Donate
Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:55 am
View Likes
Blackwood says...



I was disappointed!
Horror and historical fiction? BAH!




User avatar
27 Reviews


Points: 716
Reviews: 27

Donate
Thu Jul 03, 2014 12:49 am
View Likes
Panda11 says...



I have to say,
i need to know,
When did you stoop so low?

You wrote and wrote, thought and thought, all for this?

I have to say,
I need to know,
How did you know?

You knew you knew, you know you know.
How could i stoop so low?

You thing, i know, You know i think.
Either way we are both the same




User avatar
23 Reviews


Points: 456
Reviews: 23

Donate
Wed Jul 02, 2014 9:05 pm
Sampson says...



I'm going to tell you right now, i honestly just liked because of the title, but i was not disappointed!




User avatar
78 Reviews


Points: 517
Reviews: 78

Donate
Wed Jul 02, 2014 3:15 am
View Likes
Hadj wrote a review...



Review in the form of a poem:

You are
A fantastic poet.
I am
Forever jealous.
Teach me
Great Poetic Master!
Stay Groovy
My Strange Friend
And let your poetic inspiration
Never end.
Please.

10/10. liked. tried to follow but already following. amazing as always. time to go browsing your poetry portfolio.

Stay groovy my friend,
Hadj




User avatar
65 Reviews


Points: 607
Reviews: 65

Donate
Wed Jul 02, 2014 1:49 am
wtppowers says...



You pulled a Fall Out Boy on this one, Strange.






Our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued.



Willard says...


You did, wtp. *Waves hands*



wtppowers says...


lol



User avatar
158 Reviews


Points: 3874
Reviews: 158

Donate
Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:41 am
View Likes
Corncob says...



Haha, I loved the intent of this poem. It was just perfect, and your style and content fitting the intent perfectly. The author's note explains it all.
10/10 Keep writing!
+1




User avatar
475 Reviews


Points: 1461
Reviews: 475

Donate
Wed Jul 02, 2014 12:04 am
View Likes
Apricity says...



Five am poetry. xD




User avatar
1727 Reviews


Points: 94060
Reviews: 1727

Donate
Tue Jul 01, 2014 11:24 pm
View Likes
BluesClues wrote a review...



Oh, my God. I can't stop laughing.

okay so now that that's out of the way

I basically second fortis' critique, except that I think the current rhyme scheme works just fine--until the third stanza. I'll come back to that in a minute, but first: I think the rhyme scheme works because, although there is not a single sound that you follow through with, you consistently use the ABCB pattern (that is, every second line rhymes. I know what I mean, darn it. I just feel like I'm explaining it badly.)

Now, back to that third stanza.

I do understand this is meant to be bad to prove a point, but I think in the context of your title the third stanza needs to follow the same rhyme scheme of the first two stanzas. Instead, it degenerates into English that barely makes sense. ("Never having the, effort to?") So I'd suggest revisiting that stanza so it matches up better with your title--after all, if you're writing badly to prove a point, your bad writing has to follow through on the point.

In other news, I love the unneeded commas at the ends of lines. SO MANY PEOPLE DO THAT.

Blue




User avatar
21 Reviews


Points: 340
Reviews: 21

Donate
Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:53 pm
Sweetie wrote a review...



This is quite hard to review... I don't really understand it.

Maybe I'm not reading it right. I don't know, its hard to understand for me, but it is good.

For me there is mystery in it because I don't understand it and I think that is what makes it so brilliant.

I really enjoyed it. It made me feel...*thinking*..... I DON'T KNOW!!

It's really confusing to me but at the sane time it is a brilliantly simple.

Rally interesting..




User avatar
594 Reviews


Points: 106
Reviews: 594

Donate
Tue Jul 01, 2014 10:35 pm
View Likes
fortis wrote a review...



HAR HAR STRANGE YOU COMEDIC GENIUS.

What is the rhyme pattern here? .-.

Anywho. I will attempt to review. (see what I did there eh? eh.)
I appreciated your title. Few people can pull off a title as brilliant as that. I especially liked your adverb: Ridiculously. That sums up the poem I think. And that was the point.

You started off good with the first stanza. Your rhyming pattern was clear. The symbol of wearing a lampshade is a great one to use with this poem for obvious reasons.
The tearing off of a band aid is also a good symbol for this poem, because it's painful.

Your intended "badness" of a poem is hard to critique, but you did a pretty good job on forcing the point and making it bad. So that's good. You succeeded.

I actually really like the second stanza. I find that I can relate to it on many levels. Mostly because sometimes I'm told to write a poem, and when I'm forced to do that, it ends up being, as you said, pathetic. You cant force poetic-ness. even if you were trying to avoid having a point, I think you made one. And I appreciated its simplicity. This applies to the first two lines of the last stanza as well.

But the last three lines of the poem confused me. They were probably supposed to. Perhaps you could clarify by having a verb in there somewhere after "to?" Y'know, the way english teachers tell you to write. But of course this is intended to be bad, and how could it not be bad if you don't forget everything your teacher told you?
I'm going to pretend that there's a "be" after "to." Now I'm satisfied.

Other than this, I think your title is misleading because you don't have a rhyming pattern. It degenerates into nothingness. So can it really be called a poem if it doesn't really have a rhyming pattern? Something to think about.

Well I don't know what you wanted from a reviewer, but there is that.
Have a good life.
~fortis




Willard says...


ABCB ;) Thanks for the review



Aeros says...


Almost spit milk everywhere when you spoke about tearing off the band-aid being painful.




"I think; therefore, I am."
— René Descartes