Young Writers Society

Hey! me again!

well I LOVE this poem too.(yes, I came back for more) I love how it flowed. The rhyme scheme and everything. I've never seen such a poem that talks directly to the victim like this. It's brilliant, what you've created here. I loved how dramatic it seemed. Overall I just loved it!

once again, just keep the great work up,
You're truly one of a kind.

Sincerely,
disheartedallure22

Hey. Tyler here for review,
This poem is amazing. You should write more poems like this. No one can tell you what to do. Always listen to your heart not other peoples opinion. Bye.
~Tyler

Yes, this is so awesome.

Even though I've seen that some talk about musicians in the other comments, the first thing that came to my mind when reading this was some preteens or teenagers( I write 'some' because very few actually do this). They act like they are older than they are and think they are cool for drinking and having sex because those are 'grown-up things'. When they're grounded they act like they did nothing wrong, even though they (probably) did something horrible. I can go on about how this resembles their behavior, but alas, that would waste my time.

This is very well written and in a style that I personally enjoy very much. I must say that this is a very good work, and no grammatical errors as far as I can see.

Keep up the good work!

Awesome! That is the best review i could give this!

Wow, I...just....wow!
This made me laugh, it really deserved the spotlight and likes it receives. I don't really have much to say, I mean, it was really good, just masterly use of words, and precise meanings. Its like a grown woman, with plenty of experiences, talking to a spoilt, glamorous teen xD

I second that @1Weirdsituation but since I'm into music, I'll have to say Miley is awesome!
Still, about this piece, it's beautiful, it's so so beautiful. I wouldn't want anyone to say this to me but there's really not much to sing about these days than problems or a love life or having sex, it's gotta be one of this these days and it's annoying AF! So you hit the nail right on the head!
Moral of the gist: musicians should stop inciting suicidal thoughts, depression, heartbreak, premature sex and.....you get where this is going, right?
OK, that was your review\comment\mini-rant.
Bee

I really like this. The title instantly made me think of Miley Cyrus.
And I definitely agree with this. Almost everyone with a singing career sing about their problems and all they have to go through. And Miley Cyrus Kind of embarrasses herself with it.
I think that if you're goig to sing stupid songs, depressing songs, or songs that don't make sense, you should get off the stage.

For starters this is a fantabulous poem. I can relate to it well. Mi piace. But I am not going to review it. Although, I have to say, it's awesome that you wrote the poem as a satire. I've always loved satires.


(Warning: this may become a rant)

Though I can agree with this poem on many irritated levels I also have sympathy for those who feel the need to draw attention to themselves. I used to get so worked up and pissed off at self-centred people like this who turned everything in their life into one big drama show. Ironically enough, I used to be good friends with a girl like this. She was always in the spotlight and never talked about anyone but herself. It was very weird, because despite draining everyone around her with her 'fascinating' life stories people would be drawn to her and basically worship her because her life was 'so much better'.

When I first became friends with this drama queen I grew jealous like many other people, wishing that my life was even half as interesting as hers. Her energy was like a black hole sucking everyone else into her universe of boys and gossip and blah, blah, blah! Anyway, I never really talked about how much she affected me. She was the type of person that was so easy to hate yet so pointless to do so. I remained friends with her on the outside and hung out with her at school.

After a few years of knowing her I discovered more about her home life and history. Ninety percent of the time she was her usual egocentric self, begging guys to love her and striving to be the most popular girl in school, no matter the cost. But there was that ten percent that broke through her faked confidence every now an then, showing what she truly thought and felt inside. It was always the same reveal: emptiness.

Turns out her life wasn't all perfect like she made it seem. Her mother was an alcoholic and she didn't even know her father. She lived with her mum and some guy her mother was seeing. The guy didn't give two sh*ts about this friend of mine, and her mother was really tough and strict on her. It made me understand why she behaved like she did. She never received any love from the people who should care about her, so she desperately looked for love outside herself with everything. From then on, instead of feeling plugged in about her attention-seeking issues, I allowed myself to feel compassion and understanding toward her.

I once read this really cool quote that goes something like:

"All human behaviour can be seen as one of two things:
and act of love, or a call for love."

Hi there!

Here is my honest opinion. It's filled with good intentions.

I found this poem contradictory to itself. The narrator says in the first stanza that "we don't care." However, it is obvious that the narrator does care, or they wouldn't have gone on this whole rant about this other person.

I also found this poem kind of annoying. Who is the narrator to judge this other person? This other person is behaving in a way that the narrator finds annoying, yes, but why is the narrator paying attention to this person in the first place? The narrator tells this person to "get off the stage," but why is the narrator choosing to look at the stage in the first place if they don't like what they're seeing?

The narrator has a grating voice because they're patronizing/condescending.
The patronizing tone comes through at several times.

Oh, that must suck.

Honey,

And get off the stage, sweetheart.

Your love of two weeks cheats on you,

At least your selfies,
No longer have a face of a duck,

RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
Let me have my moment of nitpicking before I get down to complimenting your fabulous work here.
You need to put the period inside the quotation marks in "true love."
I think the first line of the second stanza needs to end with a question mark instead of a comma, but that's a poet's decision, so I'll leave that to you to decide.
"At least your selfies," doesn't need a comma at the end. If you wrote that line as a normal sentence it would look like "At least your selfies, don't have the face of a duck." That comma doesn't need to be there.
Same goes for "Is that enough."
I don't understand what a stage has to do with the rest of the poem, but honestly, I like it anyway.

I don't know where that quote is from, but I think it not only helps the last stanza flow, but also adds to how overdramatic the subject of this poem can get.
I totally relate to this, because it's often my reaction to some of the people at my school.
I went through a period of self-criticism because I wasn't "fun," like the rest of them, but now I see what they think is "fun," is really just stupid and pointless. Thank you for pointing that out poetically.
I love your word choice; it's just so spot-on. I couldn't have worded any of the stanzas better myself.
So for all of these things, I give your poem eight stars of ten. Great job!!

Did you get angry at someone? Haha, just kidding. But that was the vibe I was getting from this poem. I absolutely loved it, save the one word in there. That's just my opinion though. Now for my review!

May I suggest,
"Your love of two weeks cheats on you?"
I think it would be helpful and increase your mood and tone to make that a question.

"No longer have the face of a duck," would sound better, in my opinion.

"Isn't that enough" would make the rhythm better.

Overall, great work! I may be checking out Rebellion of the Clueless sometime soon.