The five poems are, in no specific order, Lee Harvey; Stand By Me; Bullet; Gone.; and You Suck. Note: This humor contains dark and satirical topics used in a "Strange" way. Puns are great, are they? P.S Lee Harvey is the most light-hearted poem in here, as it contains nothing controversial.
Stand By Me
Stand by me,
Through everything.
Every time we're together,
I get this warm feeling.
I call you my love,
My one and only.
You call me a "stalker",
Creepy and lonely.
So what if I sit in your garden,
What's the problem with that?
I may have hacked into your phone,
And stolen your cat.
You can't face it,
We belong together.
You may of forgotten about me,
But I'll remember you forever.
The whole 42 phone calls a day,
That's not creepy.
I don't see why it makes you afraid,
And why you're weeping.
You obviously don't know,
What I see.
One question,
Why won't you stand by me?
Bullet.
I won't shoot you,
I want them to realize.
I found the beauty,
In your eyes.
I won't kill anyone,
They need to understand.
We belong together,
I love you.
You love me too,
Your parents don't know that.
We can get th-
Damn it, I pulled the trigger!
Gone.
On the guitar,
Playing the song.
I never knew,
You'll be gone.
I may have overreacted,
But that's not the problem.
It's my mistake,
That I didn't solve it.
You said we were over,
I didn't take that serious.
Knowing that you're dead,
Makes me furious.
When you went with him,
I couldn't help it.
The whole idea of it,
Made me hectic.
I may have freaked out,
By driving a car in his house.
The next person I saw,
Was you in your blood stained yellow blouse.
I'm so sorry,
I hope this wasn't long.
One final word is,
I can't handle you gone.
Lee Harvey
Plop plop plop.
My feet hit the ground.
Hahahahaha.
Laughed the kids.
Creek, knock, creek.
The sound the seat made.
Chuckle.
You made.
Yawn.
I made.
Silence.
My arm wrapped around your shoulder.
Flop, whoosh, splash.
The sound the soda you threw at my face made.
You Suck.
People may love you,
But I hate your guts.
As you hate action flicks,
And you love your nuts.
You're such a good friend,
I'll always trust you.
What's been coming out of their mouths,
Haven't been true.
First of all,
You know nothing about commitment.
You're a horrible person,
Can you see it?
You're eagerly waiting,
For your parents to die.
So you can gain inheritance,
Without working a single day in your life.
Second,
You often went out.
As I sat at home,
Without a huge crowd.
Do you have fun drinking,
And doing party drugs?
Your sense of reality is slowly growing,
Just like slugs.
No wonder why we broke up,
You suck.
Have fun with your life,
And "good luck."
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Right off the bat I really loved the tittle. It's gripping.
Stand By Me: It was pretty cool, the mentality of a stalker. It was kind of funny too.
Bullet: This was absolutely brilliant. It was really romantic in my opinion but still hilarious.
Gone: This was really sad. I was overwhelmed with feelings in just a few stanzas
Lee Harvey:I really like the use of onomatopoeia and the hint of humor
You Suck: This had to be my favorite by far. I can feel the emotion.
Hi, Strange. This is pinkie here for a review. The people told me that you write best poems in YWS. Well, I am here for a quick review so don't worry.
Like everyone said, these poems is amazing. They made me laugh with joy. It made me think that you are a comedian. (However, you are a poet who have sense of humor.) These poems are favorite kind. However, you do have some errors on them like everyone said. However, these are the best ones on YWS. I really enjoyed them.
Awesome Job!
Cheers
Your reviewer, Pinkiegirl13
Hey there, Rhia here to review.
I read these on Valentine's day, and they made me laugh, and now I'm back to actually review.
Nitpicks first:
In Stand By Me:
You can't face it,
We belong together.
You may of forgotten about me,
But I'll remember you forever.
"may of" is grammatically incorrect, should be may have
In Gone:
On the guitar,
Playing the song.
I never knew,
You'll be gone.
I think "You'll" should be You'd to keep the tense the same
Otherwise, they're really good. They're super oddball, creepy poems, but in a really funny way. I don't usually like rhyming poems, but you did your rhymes well, they didn't feel lioke super worn out, tired old rhymes. You have such an amusing style to your writing, keep making me smile
Hey Strange.
The second first thing I have to say is WOW, that was hilarious and ironic, and very, very, sad. I loved all five poems. Bullet, especially, how'd he end up pulling the trigger?
The one I didn't understand that well was Lee Harvey. What'd he do, and what was with the kids?
Again great poems.
Hey!
Firstly, it's a very unique concept you used here- five different poems with one binding theme. Nice, and pretty original, too.
Now to the actual writing part- I liked all the five poems, though 'Lee Harvey' confused me a bit. I didn't really understood what you were trying to say through it. Maybe you could work a little more on it.
'Bullet' was lovely, especially the first stanza. It was beautiful. Although I feel that the name Heather you mentioned can be done away with. I don't know. it's just a personal preference, but I don't like any particular name in poems. Somehow it makes me feel a little less connected with the poem. But like I said, it's just my personal opinion. You, as a writer, did good.
'You Suck' is good.
'Gone' and 'Stand By Me' are my favorites. Both are very well written and greatly expressed.
All- in- all, I really liked what you did here. Great work!