I wake up to something,
That scared the living out of me.
I open the doors to realize,
The fridge is empty.
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139,216 Literary Works • 672,512 Reviews
u cn have my food, strange???
While reading this it made me realize how hungry I was but sadly all of my good food was gone. So I feel the struggle.
But anyway I loved it
Me again! XD
This is certainly not what i expected.
'I wake up to someting' - this line comes across as very mysterious.
'That scared the living out of me.' - a very tactful phrase to convey the fear felt by the protagonist.
'I open the doors to realize' - the anticipation is really building by this point.
'The fridge is empty.' - LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOl
You have answered the prayers of a million people's first world problem here.
In this instance, my sterling advice would be to go food shopping.
Great work, well done.
That was brilliant, and I certainly share that sentiment.
Hey Strange! Sis here to review for you! Okay, I think I really only have one thing to suggest. The last line seems a bit....off. Rhythm and flow wise. Maybe if you added a that so it would sound like this:
That seems to flow better for me.
As always, hilariously amazing! Love your writing! Keep writing and as always keep smiling! See ya around the site and in the reviews!
-Sis
Lol. ^o^ That caught me off guard.
Hey Tiny here!
I agree with Fictional that it would be bit a more dramatic if the last line was separated from the rest of the poem. Also this could work with a bit leading up to it. It could go a little something like this:
I wake up to something,
That scared the living out of me.
I check under the bed,
And in my closet.
I go to check if it is alright down stairs.
Under the stairs is safe,
and so is the basement.
I open the doors for a jug of milk,
to find the horror.
The fridge is empty.
Just a suggestion c:
Grammar: 100%
Spelling:100%
Keep writing
Before I say anything, I'd like to suggest something: consider putting spaces between your lines, and changing up the punctuation . It'll make it more dramatic. For example:
But that's up to you, of course. Anyway, this was cleverly put.
Although if somebody inhabits a place containing a refrigerator, they are usually the one using the resources contained within said refrigerator, and would know beforehand if the fridge if nearly empty, leading to them either refilling it with more products or neglecting this duty, depending on how much of a procrastinator they are.
But they wouldn't be surprised, unless they had an extremely short-term memory.
This poem is off to a great start, though. I feel that it could use more elaboration - rant about the horrors of what you've witnessed, prolong the terrible effect of it. And then sneak in the part about the empty fridge. It would make the humor even more powerful.
Keep writing!!
Haha I was expecting a monster under the bed or something. Man, that really just made me laugh!
Great poem