I enjoy,
Smashing watermelons,
With a hammer,
In people's faces,
So I can laugh.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hey there... This is... interesting!Wow! This poem is so blunt that it does stand out and i mean it in the best way possible. No frills, no rhyming words and no concotted deep melancholic thoughts... just our old classic sadism! And i love it!!
It literally made me laugh out so loud that my mother started thinking i had gone bonkers!
I sure would love to read more poems about smashing people in their noses and what not! :0
Great poem Strangelove!
instead of a comma you could use a period. It could go either way so which ever you feel is better is fine though.I love doing that too! Not sure if this is much of a poem though... it's more like the story of my life. There is two nitpicks though I personally thing you could add but I could be wrong.
After the line
After every comma the narrator pressed enter he/she doesn't really need to do that.
Hope helped
~midnightstars
This poem is so short and straight to the point, but it makes the reader and laugh. I'm not a fan of comedic poems only certain ones catches my eye, but you did great, I love dark or violent (however you want t call it) humor! With hammer you smash watermelons in people's faces, you captured the comedic side of Gallagher greatly! Great job and just keep writing! Rock on!
Oh dear, this is truly a sadistic poem if I ever saw one. (That's a compliment coming from a sadist like me)
So I see with this short poem that you were going for an angry narration. Maybe? It just seems to me that this is the kind of thing someone would right out of anger, or maybe, this is the poem of someone who has experience this kind of cruelty, and wants revenge by doing it to someone else. It's hard to understand with tiny poems, which is fine by me. I'll be honest, I'd love to smash a watermelon is so many people's faces right now, that is the affect your poem has on me. Well done!
~The dark one.
Uh...
I can't stop laughing right now. What?!
Okay, so I read the title and I wasn't quite sure what you were referring to. I mean, at first I thought it was an opera singer or a person who wrote a symphony or something of the nature considering the word "ballad." I still am a bit confused by the title.
But I read your poem four times over, asking myself, "what in the world?"
I love brevity poems, I believe the less that you say, the better. And I must say that you did quite well in capturing my attention. I am laughing because this was unexpected and very interesting to think of.
Do tell me what inspired you to write this.
Continue writing! This poem just made my day!
As simple as this is, it makes a great poetic piece! You truly made it work!
Gallagher was indeed a funny man, what with the smashing of things. And I believe you’ve captured the wonderful simplicity that he always tried to portray in his comedy routines.
It’s incredibly poetic, yet at the same time it’s not. (And believe me when I say I mean that in the best way possible.)
You've done something great with this piece, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. Great work!
Good Luck To You.