The Boy Who Became My Shadow

This is such a wonderful poem! I love it completely. You did a great job with the consistency in the line and stanza size. I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes this is just a great peom! Thank you so much for posting this, I look forward to reading more of your work.
~Alliyah

Woooooow! Great poem! Such a creative and original idea to write about! One of the most powerful metaphors I have ever read! The flow was spot on and the rhymes were beautifully done! My only suggestion is;

Our hearts (or heart) a single glimpse

Maybe just use " Our heart", since you have explained the metaphor enough through out the poem....you do not need to clarify. The lines I LOVE!

For we are not one heart and
Two hands forever pressed
Palm-to-palm, embraced.

This kinda makes me wanna cry! Great job! You are a fantastic writer!

Hello! I'm no romantic...not in the least, but, I liked this. It's got a good flow, which is always good, and your word choic is also quite nice. So, I'm going to do this stanza by stanza. Here goes:

1:

Imagine a time where we are formed
Of Two(does not need to be capitalized), not one, a bitter number,
Never alone or empty-hearted, (Period)
Made of Two Faces, Two noses, (Again, two does not need to be capitolized, unless I'm missing something...)
Yet one heart pulsating beyond
The shared spine of our backs.

I suppose if love was only so simple
It would mean that it would last, (Period)
And no, it really isn’t so, (Change "And" to "But" It makes more sense I think)
For we are not one heart and
Two hands (Comma here) forever pressed
Palm-to-palm, embraced.

I do not forget the time when we
Were almost formed to one thing, (Period)
A time when you were my shadow
And I was yours, I would suppose, (Period)
Our hearts (or heart) a single glimpse
At what time was; we didn’t look.

No we never looked at time (Comma)
Because we knew ours dwindled;
Since when was time so threaded?
Yet with Fate’s scissor-snap
We had fallen into different times,
Unmelded and unshadowed.

Imagine my awakening to find
That you aren’t there with the sunrise, (Period)
My loyal shadow, always at my side;
I am afraid this loss will
Take me too, because…I am you.
I find it takes Two hearts for one soul to form. (Two, again.)

Hi there!

This is a great poem. You did a good job making it flow and keeping up the rhythm. You put a lot of emtion into this and your imagery is great.

Since when was time so threaded?
Yet with Fate’s scissor-snap
We had fallen into different times,
Unmelded and unshadowed

That is really nice. I enjoyed reading it. It gives an interesting perspective on relationships and love in general. I have one comment though and one thing that I found confusing. First, when you said, "Our hearts (or heart) a single glimpse,"
I think to continue the flow that I think you are going for, you might want to chose one, either heart or hearts. Second, at the beginning when you wrote, "Of Two, not one, a bitter number," and when you said, "I find it takes Two hearts for one soul to form," why did you capitalize two and not one? It is just a little confusing. But other than those two nit-pick comments, I found it amazing and inspiring. Thanks for posting it.

Keep Writing,
-Xreigon

Awesome Poem. Its great. keep writing. oh make it a novel it would interesting. Well have fun with it. Oh yeah. join a team while you still can. have fun with it you do great.