He sits on the street, owns none but a guitar,
And a knapsack, the clothes on his back,
And a few dimes here and there.
He won’t take handouts, won’t play that game,
He doesn’t want sympathy, not pity,
But no one’s really aware.
He lives this way, and wants to,
With companion shoes, familiar blues,
And what’s the world to care?
He knows they judge him, the “higher-ups,”
They don’t understand, can’t comprehend,
That this is how he wants to fare.
He has no voice, and no words to speak,
Only wants to give, and likes to live
On that market square.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
I really liked your ending here and the idea of the poem is cute. There are some parts of the poem that don't make sense so perhaps look to rewording a few lines here and there. Also, check to make sure the words you put together in a line make sense and aren't a confusing read.
I liked it though, so thumbs up and keep writing!
Man, this is great.
I loved it.
I rarely do approve of such short poems, but it is certainly a breath of fresh air.
I have been browsing for quite a while but all of the other poems I have read are all so depressing.
My soul is teared apart this, and the shadows are so dark that, and the recurring theme of "where is the light???"
For the last time people, go buy a lightbulb.
It'll make you see better as the rest of the world (apparently) tears you apart.
BAH!
There are so many depressed teenagers today.
Sorry, ranting.
Your piece is definitely a relief from the great depression our generation is apparently going through.
Keep on shining!
Quite touching, i like the way the stanzas are short but are just right. The masochism is clearly reflected I think. good work.
This kinda made me think about what i thought of homeless people again xD
This poems rhythm and flow was really good and i have nothing bad to say about this
Keep writing (:
Other than that this was a really good poem and I really liked the tone, meter, and rhyme scheme you have.
I really enjoyed you description of the common homeless man and its really made me see them in a different light. I used to believe that they didn't have a home and this poem is making my think that maybe where they are is there home.
Although, I noticed you repeat the connective 'and' a lot. You beat and pattern seems to tend to vary a little bit from line to line, so it shouldn't matter whether of not you add an extra word in or not.
Sorry for the short review, I was just dying to review it but I don't have much time. Keep typing!