Growing up
means giving things away, even
letting star-crossed destinations
slip through our knowing fingers,
giving up on dreams
that we’ve grown up to procreate,
But oh, I cannot help but miss the rain.
The silvered liquid Universe
that pours onto the asphalt skin of
roads and slips down boughs and branches and,
with luck, slips down our hair
and splashes along our jackets, demeaning
city lights to glowing will-o-wisps while we
splash ourselves back into adolescence
for a moment long enough to play in a puddle,
And of all the things I gave away, I miss the rain.
This foreign place
is lost and arid, dripping dry
and stained with sand, and I miss
the sensation of
fresh wet air on my skin
as I walk out into a frigid morning
with my hands clamped to a coffee mug
with familiar cars whirring past, rekindling
settled pools of precipitation,
and more than anything I miss the way
you’d walk out in the rain to cry,
and only I would know because
I would be crying too, but soon
we’d be so lost in the weather that
we would drop our troubles
and toss ourselves into the puddles,
ruining our clothes
in the process of saving our day;
And as much as I miss you, I miss the rain.
Hey there!
Well this is quite amazing! I adored it! It made me feel sad, and bit like I was mourning the life yet to come. Being 15, I'm scared of growing up and facing a circumstance such as this. I think the flow is great, and I thought the end was actually unexpected. I thought the poem would just be about losing the playful joy of childhood, but it turned into something more. I quite appreciate this poem, and believe it should be in the top five. Overall, this review is pretty much on how great this is, and you shouldn't change a thing.
~Epic
This is really good. I love playing in the rain and I'm 16. If i ever had to let go of that one childish thing i wouldn't be me. Anyhow, You have put great emotion into this and its stunningly clever.
-T
"and I miss
the sensation of
fresh wet air on my skin
as I walk out into a frigid morning
with my hands clamped to a coffee mug
with familiar cars whirring past, rekindling
settled pools of precipitation,
and more than anything I miss the way
you’d walk out in the rain to cry,
and only I would know because
I would be crying too,"
This is my favorite part because i love coffee and watching cars drive past my house. The same car every time to. So i really like this because i can relate to it in some ways.
GREAT JOB:)
I love it, beautifully written and so much imagery! Great!
This was such a beautiful poem. For someone going through a period of change and having to give up things that have been taken for granted, this really hits hard. The first stanza really sets the mood of nostalgia and longing with the mentino of giving up dreams. The images in the second stanza, also, are very vivid. I love the lines "demeaning/ city lights to glowing will-o-wisps while we/ splash ourselves back into adolescence/ for a moment long enough to play in a puddle." As a person who wants to preserve her childishness for as long as possible, I can really relate to it. This is a very beautiful piece; good work.