I'm Not My Name

Hello StoryWeaver13,

Ooooh I really liked this for sure and i loved how short, sweet and simple it was and you managed to write a really meaningful poem with just a few words! The meaning behind this is also really nice and sweet. I honestly don't think you could have made this any more lovelier and nicer because this is a really good poem. Now i just have a few suggestions for you to consider and a few grammatical errors.

Tell me I’m my name. Tell me
that when you see a tree,
you say to yourself that the base
is a big, round ‘t’ and the r’s stick
off and grow e’s like leaves.
Tell me that I’m made of a bunch of letters,
and I’ll call you ridiculous.
I'm not my name, so I'll change it.

First of all I think this poem lacked all of the punctuation that it needed and parts of it seemed like long tongue twisters because it didn't have any punctuation to break it up and make it smoother and more flowing. I think you should just look over this and add in a few commas and fullstops so that everything is broken up correctly. But a[art from that this didn't have any other grammar errors and your spelling is excellent as well.

when you see a tree,
you say to yourself that the base
is a big, round ‘t’ and the r’s stick
off and grow e’s like leaves.

This part was probably my favorite of the poem and in a way it was almost like a riddle because of the way you associated letters with parts of a tree. It also said so many different things without even saying much at all and that is one of the most interesting a poet can do so well done! I also like the way it felt like it almost rhymed and flowed really nicely.

Tell me that I’m made of a bunch of letters,
and I’ll call you ridiculous.
I'm not my name, so I'll change it.

This part was really nice and I think possibly the peak of the poem but then i think you ended it suddenly and I think you just needed another really neat line at the end to tie this whole fantastic piece together and give it that extra spark to complete this. Generally though this was a nice ending to a lovely poem and i think you have written a relatively good ending.

Overall this is a really nice poem and again extremely lovely and meaningful and I really did like this a lot for the fun nature of this and the idea is really cool. I'd love to see more stuff like this around and i look forward to seeing more of your stuff in the future. Keep up the fantastic writing and never stop with this, you are extremely talented and an amazing writer!

From DreamingForever