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I've never heard the original, but I like this a lot. I have a sweet tooth, and love the referances to candy. It's a very nice poem, I love it. You have great imagery here. I agree with shadowdweller that I wouldn't change a thing. Great job!
-tgirly
The ocean breaths salty, won't you carry it in? Modest Mouse fan I see? I prefer the original.
Well, although I have only a fuzzy idea of what love actually is, I think you captured it perfectly. It had a good rythem and I like how in the end almost everything vame down to how it tasted, saly, sour, sweet. It makes comparison easy. I wouldn't change a thing.