Lil’ Fish Island was a strange lil’ place,
With skies of sapphire blue
And water so clear that it seemed a reflection
Of the heavens above reigning true.
Here the fish weaved through cattails and weeds,
Yet never bit a line
But that was fine with all of us
‘Cause we were there just to waste some time.
Lil’ Fish Island was a magical place,
Where time could pass for a while
Without a worry at all in the whole great world,
For everyone wore a smile.
Here we would sit
For quick-passing hours
Tall-tales growing high past each tree,
‘Cause at Lil’ Fish Island there’s no such thing
As silly old reality.
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139,430 Literary Works • 672,563 Reviews
I fell in love with this poem within the first couple of lines. I want to live in this place you've just described! It sounds so happy and refreshing. This poem here is real quality
Congrats on a wonderful piece!
I was smiling by the first line. Lil'!!!! Awesome word. I think this poem is really cute and well done. I loved it so much I don't really know what to say. It was just so amazing. It makes me feel like a toddler again or something, reading picture books and such. Great job and KEep writing!!!!
Hello!
This paragraph, for me anyway, changed the whole meaning of the poem.First of all, I have to say I really liked this! Like everyone said, it's very sweet and everything, but it also has some kind of a deeper meaning to it. It makes you think about how f***ed up life can be, but also how beautiful it could be...
The whole poem did have a kind of childish ring to it, until the last phrase
It didn't sound as childish anymore, but suddenly had a slight philosophical touch to it.
But maybe that's just me over analysing this. But then there's no right and wrong in analysing a poem so...
Anyway, I'm not going to tell you to change any words or anything, because everyone reads a poem differently and to me this poem flowed well and nicely. Though, just maybe itcanbefixed has a point with the some.
Wish you all the luck and thanx for the read
Skermitz!
Hello! This is very sweet and cute. It has a Shel Silverstein tone to it. I do have one nitpick though. I feel that you could add some more detail to it. Why are they there? What caused them to come? Who is with them? Other than that, I feel that I could find this poem published. It is very nice. Great job!
~Ballerina
OH, this is sooo cute! I love how you make reality seem trivial there. I would love to have a lil fish island of my own, do you have any more in stock?
I have one tiiinnnyyy nitpick.
The rhythm is QUITE off here. I've revised it the way I would read it above.
Alrighty! That's all I have!
Love,
Fixed
Thanks for the review Snoink (haha that username always makes me laugh...in a good way
). And I take the Shel Silverstein thing as an extreme compliment, by the way...he and Dr. Seuss were the first things I read! I'll think about tweaking my poem a bit, so thanks.
Hey StoryWeaver!
This is a really cute poem! Very Shel Silverstein-esque (trust me, that's a good thing!) so I really like it! Now, to make this more magical, I think some additional descriptions might be really nice! For instance, you could probably describe some of the fish weaving through... what kinds of fish are they? And who would you spend time with? Friends, lovers... who? So little details like that might make it even prettier.
Nice poem!