I thought Death was like winter,
Just a passing thing.
Grandfather, I hadn’t thought that I
Would never get this chance again.
So young, I was, on your lap
Head rested on your shoulder and
I wouldn’t realize what I’d lost
Until I’d gotten wiser, older.
When Mom told me you’d passed away,
I’d thought little of the thing.
I cried, of course, but somewhere deep down
I thought Death was like winter.
I thought that you’d be back the way
The birds returned in spring.
I’d thought your face would reawake
With the budding of the trees.
I was so young I didn’t know that
Some things do not return.
Grandpa, oh, why did I go
Thinking that you’d come back to me?
I thought Death was like winter;
Silly, silly me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,623 Literary Works • 673,564 Reviews
I can really relate to this poem, for it is alot like what had happened when I lost my grandfather .. It wasn't until a month after did I realize that he was really gone. That's when I cried..
Your poem is strong, the emotions in it are really heartfelt and you give the reader a chance to understand what your going through. To improve, however you could delve deeper into the adjectives of feelings or another symoblic meaning but otherwise this was wonderful.
I hope you don't take this wrongly, x]
-Written.
I think that the voice and the delayed despair could be a bit stronger, but overall, this was a really nice piece. I love the concept, and the execution was pretty great as well. You have an interesting style, that I really like, that showed through. Overall, nicely done. Sorry for the unhelpful review.
-Coral-
Great poem. The comparison between death and winter allows the meaning to be really deeply understood. I also really like the section in which the writer is speaking directly to his/her grandfather. It strengthens the personal and emotional feel of the poem. The last line threw me, however. "Silly" didn't seem like the right word to capture the pain involved in the realization that death isn't temporary.
Wow, I really like it.
I especially like the line
and I like the way you repeat "I thought death was like winter,"
Really fantastic poem
I like this poem a lot. It reminds me of my great-grandmother and I. It makes me sad, but that isn't always a bad thing. Keep writing like this and I'm sure you'll get a lot of good reviews!