Freedom
No longer simply-spoken
For what is freedom?
An unchained hand,
An uncaged self?
I do not understand
for what is freedom
if I am free of self
but nothing more?
For
For what?
A country,
Or a kingdom?
A mass of land,
or sea of people.
Is that why we struggle?
For what reason is
our blood-shed?
I fail to understand.
The
As if he is so great
Undefeatable,
Unchangeable.
He is "the,"
The one?
The only?
But who is he?
Not one of us
so why must he
rule us?
Can he truly understand?
Fighting
As if our lives are nothing
Too terrible to lose.
As if we'll die
in glory
But will we?
Fighting on the fields
for those that
I don't know.
Am I truly free
if I must fight for freedom?
Freedom for the fighting...
But is it so?...
I do not know.
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Yeah, kind of. The point of the poem overall is just sort of questioning what we're fighting for, who we're fighting for, and whether or not it's worth it. I guess in a way, you can almost see the poem as a question. Sort of just wondering, are we truly free?
Haha, well in a way I think that that's kind of the question. Who is the "The" that rules the "We"? And why? Why are we ruled by who we're ruled by? The fact is that the "The" is a stranger. This ruler doesn't even understand those he rules, because he's never been in their shoes. I hope I'm clarifying and not kinda doing the opposite...
Anyway, thanks for the reviews!
Me likey! The flow of the words was very nice. I might cut out some of the question marks, but that's just aesthetic. I was slightly confuzzled by the italicized words. I liked all of the stanzas but the The one. Maybe you could expound on
who is he? Why is he the? Maybe just clarify a bit. Overall, great job!Sarebear
That was a really fantastic piece. I liked it alot. A good rhythm, and a it flowed very nicely.
What was your message in the poem. What were you trying to say? Freedom is only for the Fighting? That it's not? That the people who fight aren't the ones who "rule" the rest? It's nice food for thought.
~UrNiGnthMarE
***clapping***
That was a lovely piece of poetry it was beautiful I enjoyed reading it especially your use of imagery,
I have been working on a piece of after effects of wars and I think I just fined the finishing touches.
It was nice reading your poem.
Keep writing