I'm thankful for the stars in the endless sky;
For all the beauty that often passes me by.
The wind that whistles its song of peace;
My wonderful blessings that will never cease.
A place where I can rest my weary head,
And sweet words to me that are rarely said.
Sight, touch, smell—are what I'm thankful for;
Hearing those loud knockings on my door.
People that love and care for each other,
And one I oft take for granted—my mother.
And, oh, the bright sun that warms the earth!
The violin fills me with uncontrollable mirth.
Know that this list will never come to an end,
For what I'm thankful for most is you, my friend.
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Hey! Waffle here for a review. Your simple recognition of the beauty that we've been blessed with as humans on this earth is a reliving notion that lulls me to faithfulness. We are blessed with eyes to see the sky, And ears to hear the busy world, and a mind to process all of the things that are so difficult to comprehend without one. So, without further ado let's get on with the review.
When you say "and words to me that are commonly said "I'm not sure it makes much sense. Are you trying to say that communication is something you are thankful for? Clarification would be highly appreciated.
That's all for my review today. Sorry I couldn't be of more help, I just needed to point that out.
Thank you! Don't forget to click the like button.
I changed that unclear part hope that's better.
Hey there! How about a review? I meant to start at the end of the Green Room but alas, I forgot; so I'm here.
I like that your rhyming is consistent, and you seem to have a pretty good rhythm to this as well.
^That was my favourite bit- not only did you maintain your rhyming scheme, but you also made it relatable and funny in a sense.
However, most of this poem is pretty common- and a lot of the times in your rhyming, you don't even really seem to say what you might want to, or what makes sense. For instance:
You're thankful for words that are commonly said? I don't know what that really means, does that mean that you like, phrases? And then, why would you like phrases? I almost feel like if you're going to write a poem sort of on a common subject like this, you need to go into detail because otherwise there isn't a lot to it- not that there has to be a lot to a work in form, but this doesn't make me think a whole lot, and I like things that make me think (or, ponder is probably a better word). That's just my thoughts though.
Maybe people tell you this a lot, but maybe try writing poetry without rhyming- you'll find you can say a lot more of what you want and a lot more meaningful thoughts come out of it.
Anyway, I hope this was helpful! Keep it up! ^_^
-Socks
Thanks for the review. I knew someone was going to comment on that line. I will try to make its presence more relevant.
I changed the part that was unclear. I hope it's better.
Your welcome! And that sounds a lot better!