E - Everyone

Deep River-NaPow 3

It is often said still waters run deep,

so it is with our inner self.

Our secret thoughts,

deep rivers hidden in our minds.

Complex seas magical whimsical,

far into our soul, rushing down,

the path of thought.

Deep in the heart of those tranquil waters,

fierce currents threaten all peace.

Deep rivers of thought and soul,

abyssal streams of inner spirit,

Eternal rivers of God,

dashing down the waterfall of endless time,

guide us well. 

Comments & reviews · 3
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Shady
Review
Shady wrote a review · Mon Apr 23, 2018 9:03 pm

Hey Katnes,

Shady back with another review for you! Let's get started...

Honestly I think this is my favorite poem of the three that I've read. It is very well done and I really enjoyed it.

It is often said still waters run deep,

so it is with our inner self.


I really like this. Start the first line with a well known saying, and then compare it to the topic of the poem. It's an excellent comparison.

Deep in the heart of those tranquil waters,

fierce currents threaten all peace.


This was another part that I thought was particularly well-written.

This poem is pretty deep and interesting. I'd never thought as thoughts as being like deep waters, but it works. I like your imagery and the emotion you are subsequently able to convey through it. Excellent job!

Keep writing!

~Shady 8)

User avatar
fishsashimi
Comment

Hey, Onii-Chan here!
Great poem. I love how complex it is. It really makes you think :)
It’s great how you describe the complexity of ourselves. Just one thing: I think you used the word “river” too many times. Just an opinion!

Keep on writing!

Random avatar
Eve
Review
Eve wrote a review · Sun Apr 22, 2018 9:27 pm

I have finally found another non-rhyming poet! Take THAT universe!

I loved the idea of the repetitive 'river' throughout the poem; it really brings it to life. My only guess of the meaning of this poem would be the constantly flowing, complicated minds of the human race are what guide us to great things.

I don' have any real critique for this poem, only awe and one word; amazing.



cron
Steps to enlightenment brighten the way, but the steps are steep. Take them one at a time.
— Cheshire Cat (American McGee's Alice)