Young Writers Society

Beautiful and so heartbreaking. I liked the line "I find myself on my knees" - which I interpret as sometimes that the only thing a person can do is pray for things to get better
"Why does the world blame me For my human weaknesses?" The world can be a harsh place to live in. It's nice to have a gentle reminder (such as this beautiful poem) that we are all flawed and need to be patient with one another.
I saw no mistakes I this piece. Then again I'm no poet. Keep writing!
-Shieldmaiden

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this rainy day. I'l try and keep it short but knowing me that wont's happen. XD

Anyway let's get into it shall we.

So may I say this was really well written I just loved everything about it, but I did see one thing that could be fixed.
Okay so here is the first one.

Would humanity would never see me the same if they were seen?

Would humanity see me the same if they were seen?

Hi, buddy! You have penned an extraordinary poem there. Its beauty lies in the content which is soo relatable. Just didn't understand a few points.

And there's nothing I can do

My tears just fall like rain

When writing this , mention whar type of rain is it? Is it a cloudburst thst will eventually calm dowm, a drizzle when tears are shed silently and slowly or a storm??

Why does the world blame me

For my human weaknesses?
Blame is always put for things that the the other person, who puts the blamw, too has and yet is afraid to admit it. So its fine if somebody blames you ( couldn't there be a better word?) for your weaknesses since it only tells that the person, apart from possessing all the weaknesses himself , is a coward too.

Keep writing
☺

Hi @Katnes I am here to do a review on this poem.
So first I would like to say that you chose a great name for this, I really like it, I feel like it was super eye caching. So nice work on that, it is always good to have a great name. I am just going to Copy Past the hole poem on to here.

Listen, just listen

When my world falls apart

And there's nothing I can do

I just can't think

I just can't function

I can't even breath

Lord, I can't even live

I just die inside.

Understand, just understand

When my world falls apart

And there's nothing I can do

My tears just fall like rain

Even when they cannot be seen

I just have to hide it

Would humanity would never see me the same if they were seen?

Know this, just know this

When my world falls apart

And there is nothing I can do

I find myself on my knees

Just searching for a way

A way out of the mess of woe and fear I am in

Just looking

Just looking for the pieces of my broken dream

Hear this, just hear this

When my world falls apart

And there is nothing I can do

I just get so confused

And lost in the chaos of it all

Why does the world blame me

For my human weaknesses?