This poem was great! I love how it tells a bit of a story, and shows the feelings of this character. The description was incredible, and idea was awesome! I only have a few small things to point out.
Firstly, the ending was a little rushed for me, as I felt that he went so fast between surrendering, and charging forward once again. I think it might be nice, and more smooth, if you had him think something like, 'what if I fail?' 'what if they die?' 'what if they all die?' and yet he fights anyway, despite his fears. I feel that might be more realistic.
Also, that moment when it started saying, "You" threw me off for a moment.
Finally, this is an itty, bitty, tiny, nitpick, but there was a part where you said, "away" when I think you meant "a way"
Other than all that, this poem was awesome! I especially loved how it ended on a question, even if it didn't out right state it. (I actually don't know if you meant to do that, and I'm looking to far into things, or something)
I hope you have a good day or night, and chase your dreams, and than beat them to the finish line!
Points: 7303
Reviews: 456
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