Young Writers Society

Hello Everlight!
My first question is: Is this meant to be the whole song or are there more lyrics to be added? This definitely feels more on the rock side of genres, so I would suggest writing more to it because you have some quality work here.

~Suggestions~

"I'm doing this for you and no one else but you

I'm telling you good bye, do not grieve for me"
These lyrics are nice, but you feels a bit repetitive to me. I suggest changing the first
one to "I'm doing this for you and no on else." or "nobody else." Which also opens up
some time for creativity when it comes to singing and holding out the note or adding a
run of notes to "else."


~Questions~

"Our paths will cross again, I know it in my heart

This is my anthem now I have been set free"
Originally I thought this was more of a break-up song, but is this more of a goodbye to
a friend? The character of this song seems to be longing to have their paths cross again,
but they've been set free? It seems bittersweet.

~Overall~

Over all these lyrics are really nice and I enjoy them. I would definitely suggest trying to make one of these, or even another set of fresh lyrics your chorus, and writing a few more verses in order to expand upon the song!!

Happy Writing!
~SBG

i love this. this reminds me of when i first realized what i needed to feel free in my own life. the only comment i have is to add commas between certain parts in sentences, such as:

"This is my anthem, now my soul is free to wonder", but that is up to you to decide! it flows beautifully and i really enjoyed it. this is going to stay with me for a while.

i can also definitely see this in a pop or rock song

The stanzas of this poem flow really well. And I like the themes of sacrifice and saying farewell addressed here. I especially love the verses, "When all the earth has forgotten, remember me forever," and "tell the tale of what I did for you and no one else but you." Both of them are powerful, and they express the speaker's poignant emotions clearly. None of the stanzas or structure feel clunky or forced, and that's what I like the best about this poem.

You did a great job. ^^

Hey EverLight, Katja here to review your work! As with all of my reviews please feel free to disregard any and all comments or suggestions I make if you find them unhelpful. With that being said, onto the review~

Overall Thoughts

I like the title and overall flow of your lyrics. It seems to be expressing a final goodbye- where the narrator reminds it's intended audience that they did *something* for them and they ask them not to grieve, say that their paths will cross again.

I like the flow of the lyrics and the imagery and emotion each line evokes. I especially like how "this is my anthem now" made me imagine someone going around and proclaiming this to their loved ones.

My favorite part was:

When all the earth has forgotten

Remember me forever.

This is my anthem now my soul is free to wonder

This is my anthem now I have been set free

This is my anthem now I have been redeemed