I try to love you,
I do my best to care about you
But you leave me wondering where I went wrong.
You abandon me to dust.
All I can say is,
I loved you dearly
And I miss you.
You have taught me one thing,
You cannot have the rose of love without thorns.
No one said this love was easy,
No one said love was all dreams and happiness.
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how broken your heart is,
you just have to go on.
I wish this rose was pretty,
That it didn’t sting.
I wish loving you didn't have to hurt.
Why oh why does this have to be?
It may be pretty and colorful,
It may add décor to your life-
Then its true colors come through,
Bitter and sour.
It's a cliché.
You just have to take the bitter love with the sweet compassion.
The rose of love is nothing more than a thorn of life.
Love may be sugary but it has some salt in there too.
I guess you must choose your love carefully.
Thanks for the lesson my former love.
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Wow!
I loved the poem from beginning to end. This poem explains quite clearly, what are the consequences of love and brings out the true picture that hides in the shadow of sweetness. One can learn a lesson from this piece that love is not always what it looks like, that is, happy, fantastic and yeah sweet.
Overall the poem has a nice feel to it. We can pretty much relate to it and it has a good construction and form.
Suggestion- The poem succeeds in proving the consequences if you don't choose your love partner correctly, but if you could add some more dramatic and bold lines to show your pain, that'd make it a lot more interesting. The pain of the speaker was somewhat difficult to find if that was your intention.
"Thanks for the lesson[,] my former love."
My favorite part was -
"The rose of love is nothing more than a thorn of life.
Love may be sugary but it has some salt in there too.
I guess you must choose your love carefully.
Thanks for the lesson my former love. "
Overall it was a job well done!
Great work!
In my opinion, i think it lacks a bit of emotion. In the middle part,
"I wish loving you didn't have to hurt.
Why oh why does this have to be?
It may be pretty and colorful,
It may add décor to your life-
Then its true colors come through,"
though the poem is in free verse, again for me still lacks emotion, the middle part however it truck me because one, its relatable, second the describing factor is realistic because thats how love is right? it's beautiful at first then hardships go on. But all in all I am just a mere newbie spilling my thoughts. That part was the one that made me say something but all in all the poem is good, keep it up!
Your poem was intense and lay an emphasis in choosing your love of your life RIGHTly.The way you have presented is impressive. Looking forward for more great works like this 1
This is a very lovely and heart touching poem. Good job.