Obsessed

Hi, here for a quick review. Couple quick thoughts.

1. So this isn't from Violet's viewpoint, but you seem to make the connection that she and you are similar in your thought, process. But I personally don't get the connection on where Violet has had this outlook on love. I mean sure, she got stood up cuz the kid got his memory wiped, but she more hates on the idea of being a superhero it seemed to me.

2. The way you have the lines centered (can't remember the correct term) is alright, but with the disparity between long and short lines, it can be hard to read it with a flow when your eyes go from right to left to middle to left to right yknow? IT's up to you if you want to change it, but I think aligning it to the left would do no harm.

3. It's well-written. Their's definitely a lot of passion in this piece. It feels very heartfelt and raw. Nothing held back. I like that a lot. Poetry can have a knack for just diving straight to core feelings and emotions in ways that other forms of writing, essays and novels for instance, have to take longer and be more nuanced about.

4. You have an interesting take on love, I'm not going to lie. I think of lot of this comes from the "love" that movies and songs push about this touchy-feely happy infatuation instead of true sacrificial love, and so in some ways I understand the frustration in this poem,, although, I found it in some ways sad that Violet, or you I guess, in the end seem to succumb to the idea that eventually you'll love. At the same time I'm in a relationship so I can't necessarily agree personlly with everything in this poem xD

Overall it's a well-written piece that feels genuine and polished. Keep writing.
~Messy

Your poem is interesting, and I like how you wrote from the perspective of Violet Incredible (the new movie was fun)! I think many people would find your poem relatable, myself included .

If you want, I just have a few small comments.

"why do they let there hearts break over and over again?" (line 2)

Since your last line ended with a question mark, I think this line could be capitalized. Also, I think you meant "their hearts" when you wrote "there hearts." (Their is a possessive pronoun whereas there is an adverb.)


"I know what they say grow up you little Violet Incredible the modern world is obsessed with this / learn already" (lines 3 - 4)

I had to read these lines a few times to make sense of them. Maybe you could say something like

"I know what they say: 'Grow up, you little Violet Incredible, the modern world is obsessed with this. / Learn already!' "

It would be helpful if you made it more clear that they are addressing her since writing it as one long sentence might be a little confusing to some people.


"I am aware this world isn't giving up until I answer loves call" (line 12)

I think you meant "love's call" possessive? Sorry if this was just a typo - I'm kind of a stickler!


"Until that depressing day when I find my one true love I will forever stand against crushes." (line 18)

It might be better if you split this up into two lines (like, "Until that depressing day when I find my one true love / I will forever stand against crushes"). Otherwise, you could separate the dependent and independent clauses with a comma ("Until that depressing day when I find my one true love, I will forever stand against crushes").


I enjoyed reading this poem! Let me know if anything I said here wasn't clear enough. Of course, this is your poem, so you should do whatever you want with it!