Young Writers Society

Wow. I'm such a sucker for shorter poems that can convey such deep emotion. This is such a great example of that. I especially love the line: "If I could heal your every scar I would / But not one taught me how." I couldn't tell you how many times I have personally felt like that.

I think this poem comes from a place of deep pain and understanding of others' pain. If you as a writer keep digging into that understanding, I have no doubt that your pieces will be amazing.

The only edit I would suggest is if you're going to have some punctuation in your poem, make sure you have punctuation throughout. I know it's tiresome to do so, but you'll have a much more cohesive piece if you do.

Thank you for sharing your talent and art with us! Please continue to!

All love,
Lilith

Wow. I'm such a sucker for shorter poems that can convey such deep emotion. This is such a great example of that. I especially love the line: "If I could heal your every scar I would / But not one taught me how." I couldn't tell you how many times I have personally felt like that.

I think this poem comes from a place of deep pain and understanding of others' pain. If you as a writer keep digging into that understanding, I have no doubt that your pieces will be amazing.

The only edit I would suggest is if you're going to have some punctuation in your poem, make sure you have punctuation throughout. I know it's tiresome to do so, but you'll have a much more cohesive piece if you do.

Thank you for sharing your talent and art with us! Please continue to!

All love,
Lilith

Hey Katnes! This was a very congenial poem. Loveable yet heart- wrenching. Though it isn't clear who broke the heart, since both are suffering. Was it you who did it or was it your partner??

Can forgive me for every word that hurt?
Was it only you who said hurtful words. Didn't your partner say something they shouldn't have?

" But something between us has died

I know you want me to be the one to bring it to life

But no one taught me how"
^ These lines were so terrific and all those that ended with' But no one taught me how'. These make the poem stupendously amazing.

I can see it in your eyes

The longing, the hope

You want me to be the one to repair our torn bond

This is a bit awkward. You both want the torn bond to be repaired and yet the other doesn't even try to do anything about it. QUEER, he or she could be a coward,I think- only expecting others to do the action.

Anyway, keep aside the mistakes, the poem was a pleasure to read!

Keep writing😇

Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with yet another review for you like you asked.

Let's get started shall we.
So out of the whole poem I only saw one very small mistake, and it can be easily fixed.

Can forgive me for every word that hurt?

Hello,

This is a deeply emotional poem! It's really well written, conveying clear emotions of heartbreak, sadness, regret... a lot of things. I think you started off strong and ended off strong with this person not being able to mend their love's heartbreak and asking for forgiveness. I think it's interesting how you kept using the line "no one taught me how" to add emphasis and maybe give a little insight to the backstory of this character... and I would probably want to know more about them. There's just a couple lines I want to point out...

But not one taught me how

Can you forgive me for my humantiy?