Golden light shines upon the kitten's grave,
She rises from ash, dressed in pure white.
All is dreamy.
All is golden.
Clouds of silver red and green abound
I see her take a diamond ring,
I hear her say words of glory,
As mist surrounds her, glowing brightly,
Then fades away.
The ring glows a pure white.
Then I know, she left a part of her,
For the souls of those she left behind
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140,224 Literary Works • 673,047 Reviews
Radrook here a once again to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend. It isn’t my intention.
Please feel full free to cast aside all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure its true by being extra careful.
That having been said
Thanks for sharing this poem about your belief in the resurrection of animals. This colorful glowing imagery is very captivating and touching. The imagery you use of glowing light is very appropriate for a heavenly scene and concepts of the resurrection. I like they the cat leaves evidence of her resurrection behind via glowing ring.
It shows the great love that some pet owners have for their pets wishing them everlasting life just as they expect for themselves. But this one goes further by showing that the cat has received the gift of speech as it utters words of praise during its resurrection.
Most of are certainly very emotionally attached to our pets and would love to see them again. As a former pet owner such poems always touch my heart.
Looking forward to reading more of your poetry
Here to review your stuff.
You seem to have been very fond of your cat.
Is the cat rising from the grave?
What do you mean by 'clouds'?
Is silver, red, and green, a representation of stuff?
I'm really confused why this cat is a) taking a diamond ring. b) taking something that requires apposable thumbs.
Say what in words of glory?
No need to have forced rhymes.
Why are the two lines about rings so separated from each other?
"Then I know, she left a part of her,
For the souls of those she left behind" grammar was already pointed out in a previous comment, but what was not included is you don't need a comment after 'her'.
Ah I take it that you are confused? Yes at the start she is rising from the grave, as for the ring . . .well I decided to have a part of her soul enter it , a bit odd I know but that is the way I did it. As for how she is holding it-this is fantasy anything can be possible. I chose to have it be a mystery as to what she was saying. The clouds are mist and sunlight.
Yes in fact I was fond of this kitten.
Thanks for your help. I hope this clears it up.
Hey CorruptedArrow here with a review! I hope that I don't offend you in anyway possible. Now onto the review!
"Golden light shines upon the kitten's grave,
She rises from ash, dressed in pure white." You don't need a comma after 'grave' and 'ash'.
"...diamond ring,
I hear her say words of glory,
As mist surrounds her, glowing brightly,
Then fades away." There should be a period after 'glory'. Then you shouldn't have a comma after 'her'.
"Then I know, she left a part of her,
For the souls of those she left behind" You don't need a comma after 'know'.
I hope that I have helped you in some way. Anyway have a great day, and keep up the good writing!