Up
the stairs,
to
the writing desk,
sit,
stand
again,
pacing.
pacing.
papapapacing.
napping.
changing
the cat litter: shoveling, bagging, spraying air freshener,
down
the stairs,
outside
past
the frog corpse (see
how
the flies firework upon approach, see
how
not everything is a prince,
or
at least I hope not)
back
up the stairs,
wash
hands,
to
the writing desk,
sit,
the
tea is cold and you’ve only had one sip.
shall
we brew another cup?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Good (insert greeting based on your time)!
I came across this poem a while back I really enjoyed it! I never got around to reviewing it, but I’m super glade I found it again!
What got me hooked last time, and what drew me back in this time, was your style. I love the choppy way in which you present your poem. It almost feels like we as the readers are bouncing around inside of the writer’s head, with short incoherent thoughts paired with drawn out solid sentences. Not only was your style one of a kind, but your imagery was flawless.
I am not the most experienced poet, and certainly not the best, and it’s entirely possible I missed something. But from my point of view, I saw very little grammar mistakes. Only thing I noticed: It’s really small, but on line twelve, the parentheses begin for only one word before jumping down to the next line. It’s entirely possible you did this for some sort of artistic reason, and if so, please feel free to ignore this.
All in all, your poem was absolutely amazing! I hope to see more of your work around soon! Stay safe and keep writing!
-Lizzy
hi, hi! I really enjoy the fun pacing, line breaks, and punctuation usage in this one - it does create an almost word-imagery on top of the visual imagery.
Thanks for sharing your writing; please write more so I can read more! :']
How cool you are Tally-wa~!!
~a
I loved this poem so much!
It illustrated writer's block, which is a stressful situation for all writers, in such a comedic and adorable way.
I especially liked the title. It did such a good job of drawing the reader in as well as summarising the poem as a whole.
My favourite part of the poem was the line "past the frog corpse" and I love how it is (or at least I assume it is) used to represent the death of inspiration.
I also liked how the mood shifts in the last two lines, from light-hearted to solemn. These lines also convey the repetition that comes with writers block which is something that very relatable. It shows how easy it is to waste the day away trying to get out of it.
Overall it is incredibly well written. Keep up the good work!
This is one really cute poem I didn't expect to review bht couldn't stop myself. The title is the strongest asset of your poem and it works soo well in boosting the poem as a whole.
I see it as a poem about writer's block. The way you described it was surreal, in a way, and relatable.
The "-ing" verbs help make it dynamic and fast progressing. It adds to the feeling of restlessness and anxiety felt by a writer without inspiration.
The subtle details create the surreal effect I mentioned earlier. You create a world which is imaginary but has a striking resemblance to the real world, the one we live in. And there is a third world in the poem, the world inside the persona's mind, a chaotically organized world. Interesting, really interesting.
One of the best lines in the poem is "past the frog corpse". It gives the idea of dead inspiration so easily. I love it being a close match to a prince, which is dead. I don't understand why it isn't compared to a princess, would have worked better but I don't hate it.
Also, I find the papapacing stuff pretty useless. It does create an auditory image and accentuates the pacing but the idea can go on without this.
Great poem nonetheless, can't wait to see your next one!
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello! Forever here for a very short review! Perhaps the shortest review ever.
So, let's begin.
I loved how you have described what seemed, at least to me, writer's block. Writer's block is actually a hard situation that writers face and you really managed to convey that situation to your readers in such a humourous way. In the whole poem, only the last two lines had a melancholic sort of feeling and it speaks for the hardness. For the rest of the poem, a really had a hearty laugh. The formatting thing also added to the poem like not capitalizing things. My only suggestion is you can write 'you've' as you have. It makes the flow better, I think. Ending with a question marks was an awesome thought.
Keep writing!
~Forever
Oh wow. This sounds like you try to describe "Writers Block" Well done in a few words.