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Let's See How Far We Can Get with a Cup of Tea and a Dream

by tgirly


Up the stairs,
to the writing desk,
sit,
stand again,
pacing. pacing.
papapapacing.
napping.
changing the cat litter: shoveling, bagging, spraying air freshener,
down the stairs,
outside
past the frog corpse (see
how the flies firework upon approach, see
how not everything is a prince,
or at least I hope not)
back up the stairs,
wash hands,
to the writing desk,
sit,
the tea is cold and you’ve only had one sip.
shall we brew another cup?


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Mon Aug 09, 2021 5:28 am
alliyah says...



hi, hi! I really enjoy the fun pacing, line breaks, and punctuation usage in this one - it does create an almost word-imagery on top of the visual imagery. :) Thanks for sharing your writing; please write more so I can read more! :']

How cool you are Tally-wa~!!


~a




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Mon Jul 26, 2021 5:51 pm
Katem_277 wrote a review...



I loved this poem so much! :)
It illustrated writer's block, which is a stressful situation for all writers, in such a comedic and adorable way.

I especially liked the title. It did such a good job of drawing the reader in as well as summarising the poem as a whole.

My favourite part of the poem was the line "past the frog corpse" and I love how it is (or at least I assume it is) used to represent the death of inspiration.

I also liked how the mood shifts in the last two lines, from light-hearted to solemn. These lines also convey the repetition that comes with writers block which is something that very relatable. It shows how easy it is to waste the day away trying to get out of it.

Overall it is incredibly well written. Keep up the good work!




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Mon Jul 26, 2021 3:16 pm
Buranko wrote a review...



This is one really cute poem I didn't expect to review bht couldn't stop myself. The title is the strongest asset of your poem and it works soo well in boosting the poem as a whole.

I see it as a poem about writer's block. The way you described it was surreal, in a way, and relatable.
The "-ing" verbs help make it dynamic and fast progressing. It adds to the feeling of restlessness and anxiety felt by a writer without inspiration.

The subtle details create the surreal effect I mentioned earlier. You create a world which is imaginary but has a striking resemblance to the real world, the one we live in. And there is a third world in the poem, the world inside the persona's mind, a chaotically organized world. Interesting, really interesting.

One of the best lines in the poem is "past the frog corpse". It gives the idea of dead inspiration so easily. I love it being a close match to a prince, which is dead. I don't understand why it isn't compared to a princess, would have worked better but I don't hate it.

Also, I find the papapacing stuff pretty useless. It does create an auditory image and accentuates the pacing but the idea can go on without this.

Great poem nonetheless, can't wait to see your next one!




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Mon Jul 26, 2021 12:31 pm
BEASTtheHUN says...



AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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Sat Jul 24, 2021 8:08 am
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hello! Forever here for a very short review! Perhaps the shortest review ever.
So, let's begin.
I loved how you have described what seemed, at least to me, writer's block. Writer's block is actually a hard situation that writers face and you really managed to convey that situation to your readers in such a humourous way. In the whole poem, only the last two lines had a melancholic sort of feeling and it speaks for the hardness. For the rest of the poem, a really had a hearty laugh. The formatting thing also added to the poem like not capitalizing things. My only suggestion is you can write 'you've' as you have. It makes the flow better, I think. Ending with a question marks was an awesome thought.
Keep writing!
~Forever




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Fri Jul 23, 2021 9:01 pm
CB says...



Oh wow. This sounds like you try to describe "Writers Block" Well done in a few words.





Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
— Sir James Dewar, Scientist